I love this. I feel this way about Face Book. Yeah, we all know there is a bunch of silly stuff, but for those who actually take time to involve themselves in a conversation, it can be interesting. The poem was great, very clear, I understood your point very well.
Great poem! I think the entire beginning paints a picture that helps the reader understand the desperation of of your entire world changing in one day.
My concern is with the end of the poem. It leaves the reader hanging. it feels like you have more to say, but aren't saying it. You left everything dear to you to become, as you say, "one of the countless camouflaged
who follows the orders and will of others."
What did that mean to you in the end? What exactly does "something less to become something more" mean to you? More, how? Why? How did becoming one of the 'countless camouflaged' translate into becoming 'something more?'
I love the poem, I just want more from it. Hope that helps. I'd love to hear more poetry about your experiences and other veterans as well. You have each been threw something many of us can never understand.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dizzymisslizzy
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 12:11pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
