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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dhandy625
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Review by Dhandy625 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Sounds like a start to something interesting. I'd like to read more about his like as a P.I./hitman.
It could do with some expanding - just what is his desk job? Anything more about the hit on his boss? His wife sounds like fun...
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Review by Dhandy625 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Hi! There were some pretty interesting ideas in this. The Mental Asylum part could be really expanded out into a horror story, and the idea of reading being a mental health problem is interesting which could be fleshed out more.
Fundamentally, you just need to pick a narrative and tone and stick with it. You move from one idea to the next a little too quickly.

I had fun reading it though.
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