oh! i see what you mean about being passionate on this topic. you've really done your research, and it's clear - i can picture each scene easily. i know just what you're talking about.
you've really established a voice for the character - i like that liliane refers often to her father -"Maybe the son of a banker…that would make father proud." it's an excellent way to characterize...
language aside (because it's awesome), i think you should look at your story's structure. where's the climax? you started with "hope." do you come back to it in the very end? i think structure is very important, and maybe you could elaborate more on this story's climax, or at least make it more identifiable.
excellent job. can't wait to see more from you!
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