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Review Requests: OFF
672 Public Reviews Given
673 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest, for the most part. Not hurtful, for the most part. In other words I'll try to be straight up but not step on you face while I'm about it. Oh, by the way, this points business confuses me. I don't want to charge for a review. If I have the points in the bank I'll refund you 900. Why I'm required to ask 1000 is past my understanding.
I'm good at...
Not much. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, most of the mechanical stuff. Good eye for composition. I read a lot and I can give you a reader's opinion. Most good reviews are a fresh eye.
Favorite Genres
western, sci fi , detective, general or literary fiction
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
what, pray tell, is an "item type"?
Least Favorite Item Types
See above
I will not review...
stories about kangaroos
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Ooze  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Let us say all the information given will be a part of the story, but it is not critical that it be in any particular order or weight of importance.

Let us say the first person narrator has only the fifteen minute recess to use all the information, to plot the story.

Let us finally say that the climactic resolution will be in the courtroom, and that resolution will resolve all the conflict we will show/create in the brief recess.

The questions to be resolved first are mechanical: Who is speaking, a defense lawyer- we assume not, since the narrator refers to "the man at the defense table." So we are left with either a district attorney or plaintiff's lawyer.

The man in the cheap suit is an interested party but not a party at law. What is his interest?

Why are all the actors in the courtroom?

What angered our narrator in the first sentence? Was "his" anger the trigger?

Hopefully these questions will help coordinate the information into a plot.



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2
2
Review of Starry Skies  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
DC read this and commented: I opened what I thought was a folder of "Funny" stuff. I need a laugh, not inspiration! Well, since I am now so inspired I will get busy. Thanks, I guess.
DC

PS Despite my carping it is a good poem.
3
3
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very interesting well written story. I was hoping the wolf man would make it to his kill. Be a treat to hear how the wolf would verbalize the experience, but the way it turned out is the making of a good story in chapter two, if it comes to that.

I won't second guess where the story will go from here. I liked the senator's idea, but you can't have everything.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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4
4
Review of The Flawed Gods  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I red your W.I.P. "The Flawed Gods" and found it interesting and well written. Yes, I did want more, but I understand what "in progress" means, although the date of this piece is five years ago. How's this progressing?

The first part was more interesting than the middle, the revelations more compelling than the teen-like angst of the pouting god-like superhero. That part was a bit slow. So now we are in the part Joseph Campbell tells us about, you know the mentor part? I can bet things will perk up as we build toward another big reveal, this time superhero revealing his superness to the new teacher. I am not belittling your work. I enjoyed it a bunch and want to see the next installment, but I'm old and I may not have time, so get to progressing.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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5
5
Review of The Hunter  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I notice that the writer passed up the chance to introduce the protagonist's name in the first sentence, "she swung her legs...", 542 words later the name "Eva" is mentioned for the first of only two times and the reader can from that point on put a name to all the pronouns. Since this is chapter one, early and reinforced identification of the heroine might be important to the reader.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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6
6
Review of TWO WAY STREETS  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well written light verse upon a heavy subject. The points are well made and well taken. I admire the circularity of the poem where the first stanza sets forth the question and the last the answer using the terms of the original question I thought that was a nice, writerly touch.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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7
7
Review of Time and Anguish  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Impressive poetry classic in its nature and form. A well written joy to read. Although the premise is dark the writing takes the sentiment into a lighter place and the reader is raised from heavy dread to a place of hope. My hope is that this one is published soon.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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8
8
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read this when I could have been having a face to face, real voice contact with a human being. Not that I couldn't get up and do that right now, but I did want to say thanks for your interesting, if overly long, article. I confess it was the photo of Robert Downey that got my attention and the mention of Sherlock Holmes that kept it. Thanks for sharing this excellent piece of writing.
DC


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9
9
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ah. I get you. The sweet smell of success is the smell of sizzling hot bacon bought and paid for by honest toil. So when we bring home the bacon we celebrate the small but needful success of living well at least living well enough to be fed and feed our families.
DC


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10
10
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
And thee in the crowd sat in numbed silence the parents of the boy who stood statue like as three perfect strikes whizzed by - well not exactly whizzed- barely enough velocity to make the distance. But, speed does not matter when faced with fear, any speed is fast enough when there is no foe.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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11
11
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a poem that conveyed feeling and emotion without specifics. I think that is a good craft to have, the ability to say almost silently, to draw a picture without pen or paper. There is an innuendo whiff to this poem, a suggestion that ask the reader to be suggestible.
Thanks for sharing.
Dc


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12
12
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I must presume this poem is related to the recent protests/riots and law enforcement/police- political brutality the nation has experienced this month. I have tried to list two viewpoints although I exactly share neither in anything like perfect congruence. The poem seems to me to be more for the poet than the reader.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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13
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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I somewhat understand the "what" of this poem. People are being select to continue, while others are culled as seeming less desirable for the purpose. There is an allegation by the narrator that the process is not intended to get to the true answer of the test only to find the proper pegs to fit the proper holes. Much elaborate language is displayed , but I see no clear resolution or clear mission statement of the poem.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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14
14
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
"The new and not-so-divine - opposing the second lockdown - a poem."

I've read it several times and without the top note as to meaning I would be lost. The poem is musical, but so was Sha-na-na and scat singing. Frankly the lyrics are beyond my ken, they passeth understanding.

With study, squinting and head scratching, and most importantly being expressly told what the thrust of the poem is I can see the subject. I suppose my criticism is: The poem is too hard for me.

Thanks for sharing.
DC


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15
15
Review of Electric  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sweet, sentimental, and enhanced with powerful language creating powerful images and illusions. I met a writer who contended poetry to be magic. I agree, insofar as poetry is an illusion of magic, a report from the front is not the same as being at war, but it a close as we can safely come.

Thanks for sharing.
DC


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Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wonderfully ambitious thought, to write a magical poem. Possibly the poem is possible, like "Xanadu" a magical notion with a magical poem. Coleridge has this ambitious thought. Perhaps magic is not a learned ability, no Conjuring 101 on the schedule of classes. Perhaps magic has to be allowed to happen spontaneously, explosively, as a laboratory accident. Perhaps one attempt of a million explodes into a magic poem. What attempt are you on now?

Thanks for sharing.
DC


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17
17
Review of Nicodemus  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please accept my words as well meant and written in the spirit of encouragement for a good writer.

Thanks for sharing this sermon. In my experience sermons are created more often to be read aloud to a gathering than to be read silently on the page. I cannot comment on the strength of your assertions, I have no credentials as a theologian or logician. I can say, speaking as a writer, your sermon is powerful in its language. A part of language is the common usages of writing the thoughts onto the page. A powerful argument, an otherwise persuasive thought, can be diminished by unconventional use of the language. Your well intentioned and perhaps inspired words lose credibility and divert the reader’s attention by casual spelling, capitalization, disuse of the apostrophe. Your written sermon could be more effective with strict proofreading. I have picked out some instances of eye stopping language usage and listed them here in the order they appear in the sermon. This list covers about half the published sermon.


Words needing apostrophes to create possessives or complete contractions:
Mens, Gods,, worlds, masters, Weve, Masters, im, theres, one thing ive, its, its, wheres, wheres,hes,


Words of unconventional spelling:
Weomen, Noone, Rabbai, not everknown, earth, if u, u, breakin, friends, iam, obcession, carriagesas,there, there, Iam, symabolyzes, Iam, shor, capiualate, Pilgrom’s, idealis,
,,,sometimes, friends, vacuously,


Words with unconventional capitalizing or requiring capitals:
Life, Hope, Carrriages, us Get, one thing ive, :” what if?”, ask him, Questoned, The, Grub

Again, thanks for sharing your fine thoughts.
DC


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18
18
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It is of course, mind candy, but a bittersweet and crunchy variety, no syrupy sweetness or soft nougat here. There is a complexity to the story that mirrors the complex nature of love and lust. The metaphor of the hunt and the revenge nature of that most deadly hunter and elusive prey, mankind is well reflected.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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19
19
Review of $hö¢k  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I suppose if Charles Bukowski got up from reading _A Clockwork Orange _ and wrote a poem; it might look like this one. It seems to have all the elements of that mad sanity, or sane madness that Bukowski and Burgess exemplified. This poem won't be palpable to everyone, but that does not mean it is not very good work.
Thank you for sharing.
DC


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20
20
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your article appeared in the "read and Review " section of WDC.

There exists a candy called a "Starlight Mint" which is a peppermint stick twist rendered as a disc of peppermint, it also vaguely resembles a stylized star shaped swirl. Your neologism, "starlight twister" brought that hard candy to mind. To avoid any embarrassment on my part- a self induced starlight twister- I did a Google search of the word "neologism", where I found an excellent Wikipedia article about the term.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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21
21
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The coffee saint? What a brilliant canonization. Excellent light verse, you can't get your fix of non dreary, low impact poetry like you should. That poem would go well with a robusto grande and a handful of Girl Scout cookies. Thank you so much for sharing this and brightening my day.
DC


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22
22
Review of Spare Change  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simple. I like that in a poem. It can weary the reader to read acres of tedious verse that searches for some new metaphor or some great revelation of the soul. Not everything is of vast importance, sometimes an introduction is all that's needful; sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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23
23
Review of The Search  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is not clear enough to me that I can attach some greater, metaphorical meaning to the poem. I do know that had I been the poet I would not have used knight and night in the same like bookends. I might have used twilight or gloom to finish the line.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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24
24
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Just browsing around wondering what a readability score is and why the law review cares. Rhetorical thought-no need to reply.

A waterfall of tears
when measuring drops of a tearful nature
mesmerizing conception of tears
tears of joy

I read once, by Conan Doyle perhaps, something about deducing the existence of a Niagara from a drop of water, something a scientist or detective might do. What do poets do when seeing the ocean, imagine the tears of a billion lovers?


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25
25
Review of Threatening Waves  Open in new Window.
Review by Dee C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Suspicious old elf that I am I scan all looking for the "hidden" meaning, the stealthy innuendo and am amazed when the agenda is not hidden , there is no conspiracy to surprise in a big reveal - just a story written to fill a requirement. Kudos, a simple job well done.
Thanks for sharing.
DC


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