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Review of Arcane  Open in new Window.
Review by Chick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the imagery, but find the piece confusing for a few reasons:

- A lack of punctuation...a comma here or there would ease readability and separate clauses so that a reader would find it easier to understand, or, perhaps, that's the author's intention, to leave things purposefully opaque. Lines 3-9, for instance, have a possible relationship to both the area under the floorboards and the narrow staircase. Does the lingering cologne and cigar smoke exist below the classrooms or do they hang suspended in the stairwell?

- The arrangement of the clauses...I would consider rearranging the order...take us up the path, through the door, down the hall, up (or down) the stairs, into the classroom and under the desk before leading us to the area below the floorboards. Additionally, following line 1, I would expect the poem to relate the exterior features of the building, even briefly, as tree lined paths seldom lead to halls (and halls are rarely covered in ivy). Or, perhaps that's a typo and should be "ivy covered walls" (which would work just fine in the context of the poem).

Either way, I think it's a great start and with a bit more work would be a wonderful read. I really enjoy that while a large variety of items and experiences are hinted at and mentioned, many of the finer points of the details are left to the reader's imagination.
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