ok. it needs a lot of work to make the whole plot go straight. the idea of a completely different planet plagued by war and radiation is kind of word and it will be pretty hard to pull off. also you should try to fix up your grammar and spelling because some of the words are really screwed up eg: flawlessly is spelt
flalesly. try either going over it yourself or getting someone else to. other than that it's not a bad peice of writing.
ps. if you can get the first three chapters done by the end of the week (meaning friday) then i'll review you and send you atwo thousand gp.
this is a good taster but it definitely needs to either be a lot longer or in a different format.
i think that maybe this would benefit as an acrostic poem or maybe cannon verse.
anyway i enjoyed your work.
this is a very enjoyable poem. your thoughts appear to be random and i think that this helped the poem. amybe you could make another poem which rhymes but thinks along the same lines and that keeps to the same topics as this one does. if and when you do that give me a call.
Great poem. in the second stanza though i think that you could have added an extra syllable to the last 2 lines because it would have made the poem flow much better into the next verse. you don't have to of course it's just my opinion that the poem would benefit from it.
i liked this item especially because i think that it would really benefit younger or newbie writers. i may forward this peice nof work to a few people i know and i was just wondering if that's ok with u because your work might be copywrighted. please feel free 2 reply.
this poem left me feeling as though you had been left behind or that maybe your relationship with someone was wrecked by them.
i hope that you managed to get over the pain and desolation of whatever it is that touched you in this way.
i liked the way that you expressed your innermost feelings and i have to admit that this touched me and is a beautiful piece of work.
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