This is definitely an interesting start. So far you have explained only a small amount of information -- such as the penalty for slapping a member of the royal house -- but what you did explain was very subtle and well-done. At first the reader doesn't realize that you had even explained anything, which is good because that means it doesn't distract the reader. I like the parallel between Darwin and Vasmir. I'm curious what the connection is. You hook the reader right from the beginning, and leave them wondering what will happen next. Your talent for creating a near-hysterical atmosphere for the two is awesome, and catches the reader instantly. Good luck in continuing, and I hope to read more in the future.
I just wanted to tell you I liked your story. I don't usually read romance, it's just not my thing, but I thought yours was very good. The characters were interesting and believable, and the reader feels really sorry for Sue Ann when she has a panic attack. I like the words you chose to use, especially in the descriptions of the candle shop and the sunsets and moonrises. Very good work.
--Stevie Cassandra Pendragon
An EnduReview
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/daydreamr97
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:40am on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
