Almost! Incredibly descriptive and interesting, it definetly catches your eye and makes you want to read it. It's very laidback on how you show the "main character's" feelings. The peppermint stinging her mouth was ingenious by the way, since not many writers can write about something so incredibly common and make it so interesting and fun! On the negitive side however, we never get to know more about this annoynmous(sp?) character, and she sounds interesting, but this is a "one shot" sort of thing. But, thats also a plus because it leaves you in suspense! Just who is her admirer? And what more could we learn? Nice job!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/davey21
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 3:31am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
