This poem is without flaw. I am young, but still I can see the beauty and horror in this fragile bond.
The way that you portray the tormented mind of a grieving parent, is astounding. Your words are gentle
as if in a whisper, they are so delicately placed.
And the way that you close the final stanza, it is heartwarmingly heartwrenching. This is truly a piece to
be proud of, although I'm sure my opinion only supports your many awards for said piece. :)
This is powerful, and frightening. Its a very interesting idea, a departure from our idealized picture of angels.
This is a solid piece, and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
I like what you have so far, but just a couple criticisms. I think you should break up some of the longer lines
so it looks a little neater. In like 3 "see" should be "sees" if I'm not mistaken.
Line 4 I'm not too sure what your trying to say, is it "they all wish she could be the real her"?
This is a very tormented piece, it is clear that the person you write about is fed up.
It shows in your words. You really make me feel the emotions you are trying to
convey. Don't be weighed down by my criticism, I think once you clean it up you
will have a beautifully tragic piece. Good job.
There is so much beauty within this poem. Especially for somebody who was just experimenting with love writing.
You capture a timeless picture of romance. I love the metaphor of love being a room. Where the two might gaze
out from its window at the world passing by. Gorgeous writing.
I really like your message in this piece. It is something very obvious that people undermine. To those who believe, God is ever-present
but people still manage to get caught up in the everyday bumps and potholes. I think your words rang very true, and you did a great job
organizing your thoughts. This is a great piece.
I really enjoyed this. It was given in very simple terms, which only served to strengthen it. For those who believe that God is there
there is no two ways about it, it is a simple truth. And it is a beautiful idea that Love is substantial proof, something that we all
may feel. I think you did a great job capturing these thoughts. Kudos.
This, is profoundly moving. You truly brought me into a new state of sorrow. I am truly sorry for your loss, but from it you have given us
something so beautiful, something so true. It is evident how much your cared for this woman, your love flows through the veins of your
stanzas. I also wrote a poem about losing a loved one, yours rather trumps it. Wow, seriously beautiful.
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