What a sweet poem! I absolutely loved it. In my mind's eye, I can see the little tyke banging on the drums. Very enjoyable. I particularly liked your word choice in the second stanza. "cacophonous tunes" I have never see that form of the word used before. I found this delightful and worthy of the highest rating.
Bravo!
Overall, this is a well written article. I must point out that there are grammar issues. For example, where you introduce the concepts of risk versus reward and inflation risk, you misused the singular article "is".Because you are introducing two concepts, the correct word used should be "are".
In the following sentence, your choice of the word "upon" is confusing, and can be replaced with "on."
The benefit of which depends upon your margin tax bracket and certain credits you can obtain dependent upon income level.
If you have the use of a grammar review tool, please use it.
Having said all this, the information is clear and understandable.
A good read! Nicely done. There were some issues with grammar and sentence structure. There are several incorrectly used commas, as well as run on sentences. The run on sentences can easily be written into at least two more readable sentences. Here is an example
." Sure, bad things happen to good people too, but it’s how you react to adversity that determines whether you'll become a victim, wallowing in self-pity, or be a winner who works through the bad times focused on your life goals. "
1- Sure, bad things happen to good people too
2- It's how you react to adversity that determines whether you'll become a victim, wallowing in self-pity; or be a winner who works through the bad times focused on your life goals.
See what I did there? I used a semi-colon.
Otherwise, this is good work.
This is a unique piece of poetry,. I found the structure to be a bit unusual, though the beat and rhythm is familiar. The message resonates to the wounds of a broken heart. In honesty, I might have punctuated it a bit differently, but the words ring true. It is a good poem. Write on.
This poem is picturesque and vivid! The image of life from the point of view of the mouse is unique. The flow is consistent and rhythmic. I thought it was well written. I enjoyed reading this elegant piece. It is an unusual poem which I would invite others to read. Keep up the work. Masterfully written.
What a wonderfully sweet and tender story! It was thoughtful, and full of heart. I applaud you for being so honest and forthright. The world waits for an author whose writing is open and can touch us at the heart. I hope you continue to write about this and to share the story with your readers. Bravo!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cyndi62
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 5:38am on Nov 14, 2024 via server WEBX2.