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2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Gertrude Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi

You need to vary your sentence structure. Although you may think a descriptive sentence is good for your story and many are, a short simple sentence thrown in can be extremely effective. It will keep a reader interested and add to your story and characters

Anyway a good start.
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Review by Gertrude Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
It's an interesting start but the main characters perspective appears a little long winded. However it could be that this trait is indicative to their personality. That is the character almost sounds like their nervous and talks a lot
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