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Review by Crimson White Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
A good way to begin a story, perhaps you could use other descriptions for how they smile? To use only one repeatedly does not give as descriptive picture for your readers. While you imply a relationship of a kind between Mary and Darko, maybe you could give a reason as to why? Who do automatons need water? Wouldn't they no longer need such things meant for humans?

I like your idea of having them main characters act for their god, it gives an idea that they have an emotion instead of none at all. Their mission to bring everything and everyone under one god and rule is a good start for a longer story. If you decide to lengthen your story I would be much interested in seeing how it would all progress.
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