I think this was really good! I'm starting to get into D&D a little bit so I got excited when I first started reading this, I like how you showed Mara's personality throughout the piece rather than telling it, is this a series? I wanna read more of it, it's really good.
I liked the poem a lot, but I found it kind of hard to read some of the verses due to it being very lightly colored. But that doesn't change the content of the poem.
I'm not sure if you meant to do this, but in the last stanza on the second line "She was the one who said me goodbye." I think is grammatically incorrect, did you mean "Who told me goodbye"? If you meant it that way then it's perfectly fine. This was a very nice poem, with a lot of depth.
Wow! I didn't know elk attacked people! It reminds me of when I was attacked by a dog, I out ran him (he had a dislocated hip) but I was still bit in my butt.
Wow, that was deep. I liked the emotion of it. But I had to re-read it a little bit, as I was confused. How could the boy or girl see the plane crashing with Clayton and Dad just by closing their eye's? Was it a memory, or was the character simply imagining the worst case scenario? I think that you need to dwell on that a little further, but if you edit those details in, it'll be quite the compelling, dramatic static item.
That was very entertaining, and I liked it. I'm not sure if most Americans are part Native American, but that might be because I'm not a millionth generation. I haven't seen the 2013 movie, but I did hear it was slanted. Very good work.
Thank you very much for posting this. I'll favorite this to keep the websites you so kindly revealed to us. I had no idea that Barnes & Noble could help with the publishing process. That's really cool. I think the only reason why Writing.com has Vanity Publishers advertised is because of a business contract. They may also pay more, since it costs money to keep a website on the internet.
Wow, that was a real eye opener. I didn't know that things in the shelters were that bad, rampant with disease and all. Very creative, writing from the puppies perspective and all. Quick question, can animals of different species communicate with each other for real? If so, that's so cool.
I enjoyed it alot, but I have to admit it took an effort to stick with it (no offense).
I liked the beginning where you learn that he's just an ordinary kid out of college. I beleive that it creates a sense of narmalcy that you don't find in most stories like this unfortunately.
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