Besides despite the dark interior of the tavern it was just after noon outside and there was a lot to be done today You don't have o include 'today' in this sentence because you already mentioned it in a previous sentence.
Other than that, you have the beginnings of a beautiful story. I will look at chapter two in a day or so.
Wow! I liked the piece,don't know if i liked the violence, but I enjoyed the story. You made it easy for anyone who has been cheated on to connect to the story. Nice formatting and I couldn't find any spelling errors. I really enjoyed the story.
Great job!!
I enjoyed the story. It was a lovely spin on a very classic tale. I have to confess that at first, I was a bit confused as to what was going on, but I caught up with time and I enjoyed the tale. No grammatical or spelling errors and your writing style is great.
These two chapters I have read are fascinating and beautiful. Like I said in one of tghe chapter reviews, I love the writing style and the way that you are able to make th reader fel every single thing, every single emotion. There were a few spelling errors, but i you do a basic edit in Microsoft word, they can be fixed. Keep it up!!
Oh My God!! The line before the last one really cut deep. I suspected the lady was going to die, buit I held out hope. This is so heart wrenching. I love the writing style. It reminds me of "Little house on the Priarie". i really enjoyed it. Loking forward to the next chapter.
As weird and as strange as it sounds to me, I do agree with one thing you said: When here was discipline, we thought it was not good and toohard on the children. Now, we are running around trying to find a solution to the problem of violence and so on and so forth, in the societhy. I guess that's the way we are paying for our mistakes. Great Job!!!
I am not exactly sure of what you were trying to do with this piece, but my rating is just an emotional reaction from it. Besides that, it was gramatically correct and I dont belkieve there were any spelling errors and so forth. If your piece was meant to be a...a dark...i dont know the word I want, but it was okay.
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