Besides despite the dark interior of the tavern it was just after noon outside and there was a lot to be done today You don't have o include 'today' in this sentence because you already mentioned it in a previous sentence.
Other than that, you have the beginnings of a beautiful story. I will look at chapter two in a day or so.
Wow! I liked the piece,don't know if i liked the violence, but I enjoyed the story. You made it easy for anyone who has been cheated on to connect to the story. Nice formatting and I couldn't find any spelling errors. I really enjoyed the story.
Great job!!
I enjoyed the story. It was a lovely spin on a very classic tale. I have to confess that at first, I was a bit confused as to what was going on, but I caught up with time and I enjoyed the tale. No grammatical or spelling errors and your writing style is great.
These two chapters I have read are fascinating and beautiful. Like I said in one of tghe chapter reviews, I love the writing style and the way that you are able to make th reader fel every single thing, every single emotion. There were a few spelling errors, but i you do a basic edit in Microsoft word, they can be fixed. Keep it up!!
Oh My God!! The line before the last one really cut deep. I suspected the lady was going to die, buit I held out hope. This is so heart wrenching. I love the writing style. It reminds me of "Little house on the Priarie". i really enjoyed it. Loking forward to the next chapter.
As weird and as strange as it sounds to me, I do agree with one thing you said: When here was discipline, we thought it was not good and toohard on the children. Now, we are running around trying to find a solution to the problem of violence and so on and so forth, in the societhy. I guess that's the way we are paying for our mistakes. Great Job!!!
I am not exactly sure of what you were trying to do with this piece, but my rating is just an emotional reaction from it. Besides that, it was gramatically correct and I dont belkieve there were any spelling errors and so forth. If your piece was meant to be a...a dark...i dont know the word I want, but it was okay.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cmorah1
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 3:26am on Nov 14, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
