JC Axe,
I love the name, Creepers, that in its self draws up an image and sets the reader on their path. It’s a great dark concept of humans who are not humans, who can talk to each other and maybe even pre date humans. Please dive deeper into this concept. My favorite line is, " An abandoned mortuary, the floor still wet with embalming fluids, and the secretions of a long-dead human. X-rays of dead babies stuffed into a rusting filing cabinet.", great imagery and use of words.
K, now tough love. This line is a tongue twister and needs to be worded more coherently, "Now I know that you know that we are aware of what we are.". For improvement I would go into more detail, hard facts, about these creepers and what makes them different from the humans they resemble.
Sanita,
Beautiful poem. I like the subject, for it is so true how often we all judge based on looks and later learn how wrong we are. My favorite part is the end two lines, really ties the poem together and sums up the subject. For improvement...the line "If you do not have money then a smile would be a treat" really sticks out to me, kind of throws me out of the poem. To me the smile would seem mocking or superficial. I don't know, just a thought.
Thank you for this beautiful bit of poetry. I like the concept of how we left the sea, our home and so lost some of its secrets. But there’s hope; our home is waiting for us. I love the ending, "forgotten wisdom", and "awaiting our return to home." really bring the poem to a great closure. Some things to note and this is just my opinion, I would lose the rhyming. It feels forced in some places, like the ends of the first 4 lines. Just a thought.
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