This blog ring is fantastic.
I love keeping a blog, it helps my writing improve and stops all my note books being filled with pointless rubbish.
It's so nice to get a chance to express myself unrestrained and actaully have people read it without passing judgement.
YEA for Blogs!
I want to join you guys in this wonderful blog ring...
The sentiment is powerful but sometimes the meaning doesn't come across to me as I think you intend it.
I know that the events of that day were tragic but at times it feels a little damp in this piece.
Prehaps if you add another section on the end and show that London was mearly sratched and not ground to a halt. Strong city.
Lovely imagery. I love the section about the gulls, gives more depth to the flight of the soul and the freedom of no longer being earth bound.
I also like the line 'His soul was going home.' - this tied it down for me.
Nice work, some sterling imagry, and the repeat of the last two lines really helps hammer them home.
Only one critism really, maybe the poem would benefit from a note to the big war that happened shortly after that one? Just an idea, but I think it would help with the historical context of the piece.
touching, I doubt anyone will forget that day if they were around to see it.
I saw it all live on TV and it blew me away, such devistation for so little reason. Just like the continuing slaughter of innocents all round the world.
Prehaps you could expand on some of the imagry, the rhymes work really well, but it feels like some elements are left out, considering so much happened on that day.
I have a song about war, not really 9/11 related (I feel that subject has been covered enough), called 'Innocents Lost' which is about the sensless lose of innocent life on all sides.
You can read the lyrics on my portfolio, or alternativly, you can hear the track on www.myspace.com/thelittlemanhere
Nicely done.
I love the way you use war and the death of children to make your point clear. I also have used this connection as, like you, I can't understand the stupidity of killing kids, our own or our neighbours.
This piece is really touching, and, is it a song I can hear?
I have a song that is really simular in theme. it's called 'Innocents Lost', you can read the lyrics on my portfolio, or you can hear the song at www.myspace.com/thelittlemanhere if you are interested.
Peace and infinite love to you
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