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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cl.alder
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2 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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Review of Greater Good  Open in new Window.
Review by C.L. Alder Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like how you dealt with a familiar theme in an interesting way.
This part: The ground below the coffin started to light up, spreading like vines on speed, creating a web around Spencer. He stood, his spiritual form in the dirt like it was air, and watched the vine-like light get closer and closer. Spencer lifted a finger to touch the one vine of light that edged towards him like a shy animal, and the ground exploded with it.
**LOVE it!**

The only part that I didn't like was the "In reaction" that you used in the first paragraph. Even that is more me stretching to find a part that distracted me.

I really want to know what his last text message said.

Thanks for a fun piece, and WRITE ON!
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Review of I Am Not a Hero  Open in new Window.
Review by C.L. Alder Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thank you very much for sharing this piece. I found it surprisingly compelling as it's not my favorite genre. Maybe you will make a believer out of me! I hope to read more by you in the future.

A few details in punctuation distracted me while I read, but nothing bad enough to make me stop reading.
For example: "The Unending Death".
It is more correct to put the period within the quotation marks.
Also, I find "..." to be more distracting than ":" or "-" in most cases, but that's probably more of a style difference.

I like the suggestions that you have added in the top section, it seems like you have a good idea of where to take this and what needs polishing. Like I said, I really enjoyed it and just had a few moments of pause when faced with a few of the punctuation choices you had made.

Keep writing!
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