Honestly, great! A very powerful and forward poem, I think it was executed very well. Keeping that in mind, I do have one small suggestion, and that is syllable consistency. For example, "the world is his kingdom" and "made to kill his boredom" both have six syllables, and makes them sound more effective. In the third and fourth lines, however, one has six and the other has seven. This makes it sound slightly awkward, although easily fixable. Great job though! Have you ever tried sonnets? I think you'd be good at them. I look forward to reading more from you!
Yours truly,
Cam
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cbastien
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 12:19pm on Dec 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.