\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/casamyr
Review Requests: OFF
7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Casamyr Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I must say I had to laugh at this. A great stereotypical view of many cultures. I guess my only criticism if you can call it that (as it may have been your intention) is the verse stating with crestfallen and flustered doesn't follow the same rhyme scheme as the other verse of the same length with lines 1 & 2 rhyming, and 4 & 6 rhyming. I had a change the tempo in my head slighty as I read.

Still entertaining and made me laugh though.
2
2
Review of Triple Danger  Open in new Window.
Review by Casamyr Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I wasn't sure what to think of this when I first started reading. It sounded like the start to a bad joke, but it did keep me interested to find out who the Triple Danger Special were and was pleasantly amused to find out it was a favor for Rodger's wife.

I must say the Change to a Were-man was most amusing and certainly not what I expected at all. I couldn't figure out what would be scarier than having the first thing done, but nicely capped off.
3
3
Review of An October Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Casamyr Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really like the use of metaphor in this - tying the falling autumn leaves to dead skin and linked to the 'event' whatever is it was is well done. There's a couple of sentences in there that'd I'd tweak slightly to make it fit a little better.

The one I really struggle with is the last. I get the idea that humanity is like a tree and we are in our Autumn with this event. I don't like the use of the down, down, down part. And is possibly the weakest sentence in the whole piece. Are we headed into a long, dark, harsh winter? I get the feeling from this piece that the narrator can't see a spring coming, or that it is so far off it hasn't registered.

I do like the idea that you have likened all this to the seasons. It'd be interesting to see how this could go over a whole year of seasons.
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/casamyr