This is a heartbreaking poem, and I think that so many people (myself included) can relate to the sentiment that as we grow older, we find ourselves growing distant from the people we were once close to. I think that the emotion of this poem is poignant because this is such kind of experience is nearly universal.
On the other side of that same coin, though, my main critique of this poem would be the lack of specificity. I think that the emotion would be drawn out more given specific details - what about the person made the speaker feel close to them when they were younger? What specific and unique experiences did they share? What exactly is it that is drawing them away from each other now?
Having said that, I would not recommend starting from scratch by any means! The comparison of the hero who has, over time become a child, in the first stanza, for example, is gold. I love the way it is contradictory in a chronological sense but makes so much sense emotionally. The puppet comparison and the way it progresses so that the strings are what's pulling them away and also tie them down is wonderful as well. The "candyland and cartoons" line is a bit too generic to me - something more unique to these two people would strike me more, I think.
In terms of the structure, I love the zero punctuation aesthetic, which may just be a personal preference to some extent, but it also fits well with this poem, wanting to go back to a time and place that was less complicated.
Over all, my impression is that this is a nice poem, but could use some work in terms of specificity in order to improve the originality! I hope this review is helpful, and if you edit this piece, please shoot me a message - I would love to reread it!
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