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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/calee182
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10 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Ronda Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, I really enjoyed your piece. It was very atmospheric and sensing. Quite beautiful. Some suggestions of things that I found when saying your poem out loud: "As I sing them their singsongs" doesn't sound right to my ears, I feel like there should be a to like "Sing to them their singsongs" and also, "It doesn't even faze me that they aren't really even there" is too long to fit the pattern in my opinion. There are two evens in that one sentence, and I feel like you only need either "really" or "even", not both. Anyways, I wish you good luck with the writing!
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Review by Ronda Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was really good, I think that you are a brilliant writer :) I say that because at the end I had tears in my eyes when reading, and it just made me feel so sad! Making a reader feel something is one of the most important things a writer can accomplish in my opinion. If the reader feels nothing, then the project might as well be a waste. I saw little to no grammar or spelling mistakes. I'm rather terrible with reviews, so I'll give you this, great job :)
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