It's funny how things seem to look through a child’s eye. I have lost several close family members, many when I was a child. Each time I think of how I reacted then and I feel a little embarrassed or disappointed, but I believe that the grief was still there. You did a great job of capturing this in your writing. I love the way you entangled what was supposed to be one of the most happy days of your life with what turned out to be one of the saddest. This was very well written and I really don't have anything to suggest besides for you to keep writing. I will definitely read more of your portfolio. Thank you.
I really like this poem. It's words are well place and true. The flow and rhythm are easy to follow and the picture that you painted will stick with me a while. My favorite stanza is
The din rings out from the clash of steel
Bones are crushed beneath chariot wheels
And no man thinks on what the other feels
Dark death is in the wind.
I think you should write more poetry, your work is great. Thanks.
This is beautiful. I love this one. I have spent the last hour or so reading your stuff, man I love it all. I am kind of like you; I barely finished High school, then to the Army when I was 18. I love to write and read so, needless to say I love this website, and writing like yours is what it's all about. I write mostly typical, traditional rhyme and meter poetry myself but I sometimes venture out of my comfort zone, and reading your stuff encourages me to try it more often. Keep on writing and God Bless.
I love this poem I share your feelings and this could not have been written any better to me. I think that all forms of poetry have their place, but when I set down to read a good poem, give me the rhythm that I desire and the words that paint the picture for me to see. Great Job and keep on rhyming.
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