You are so right Mc Young. Obviously, these people not only need our understanding but also our help. There are many ways in which we can all do a bit to help those worse off. Perhaps you could follow this up, by making some suggestions for those who don't know what to do. Thanks for the heartfelt writing. Alison.
I liked the idea of this piece - the visiting of other places through the guide and the savouring of experiences at each place, but I found it very hard to imagine the words as lyrics being sung. Maybe I'm just not musical enough. The only technical problem I spotted was boarder which doesn't need the a. good luck with your work.
Andrea, your story is VERY effective and explores the theory of a self fulfilling prophecy in a horribly realistic way. Towards the end I had a feeling about what was to come - but it still sent a shiver down my spine. Technically, your writing appears to be grammatically sound, although some of the longer sentences in Edit #8 might have been better if broken by the use of commas. Overall, an excellent job.
Bobbi, this is a lovely story of enduring love and self sacrifice. The flashbacks are handled well and gradually flesh out the background details. Your characters are likeable - though perhaps a little too good to be true. I enjoyed reading this gentle story.
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