I noticed you didnt actually describe arthur, other then in the profile above. You did a good job telling about his life and how he was raised. I think i know where this is headed and can't wait for lesson 4. I thought it was different how you have both Peter and Arthur come from money.
I liked the idea of Annie wining a boat cruise contest. I thought that was a good idea.
The paragraph after BOOM the word muscles is spelled wrong. At the last paragraph you have the words Two men twice. I don't know if you meant to do that or if it was an error.
I like the way you have all of lesson 2 wrap into each other. Everything seems to fit into place. I'm interested to see what will happen next.
The character profile I thought you had a lot of useful information.
Good story line. You did good with only 291 words. I enjoyed it and wanted to read on. I noticed when the main character talked you didn't add in he said. I always respond with something like that but I really don't like having to use the same words. I understood when your character talked.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bluemistfairy
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:43am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.