Firstly, I rather enjoyed that little snippet, it left a lot to the imagination. I enjoyed the imagery and detail you used to address the scenery and such. A few suggestions if you would like them would be for instance, in the first sentence, I would take out the word which and just say causing. After that, I guess it is really just one suggestion and a minor one at that. Good job, nice writing, very intriguing. I can find nothing else wrong. You should really write this story out, I'll read it. :)
Honestly, I thought that was kind of fantastic. You usually expect something.....a bit different than what you gave, but that is in no way a bad thing. I liked the story it told and the nice little wrap up at the end. I am not a very good phraser of reviews, but I needed to tell you that I loved this. So, I thank you for writing it.
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