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Review by Blackbladder Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
If I'm being honest, the small intro/idea needs to be broken up into property punctuation/grammar, as congregated, it is difficult to read.

From reading your excerpt, it is difficult to establish the basis/intention of your story. For example, are the aliens vulnerable to cigarette smoke, and want to punish humanity from inadvertently keeping them away from their visitations/assistance?

What would fascinate the aliens so much about Planet Earth if a barrier is keeping them out? Rather than plain revenge, you could have a storyline about the aliens returning to Earth to retrieve a valuable power source abandoned in previous generations.

For example, what happens if the source is accidentally uncovered by children in a small, sleepy town, and the locals soon learn of its mysterious power? The aliens track its use, and return to Earth to fight the humans for possession of the material.
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