I like the romanticism of this piece; the language and drama is very well done. It could be played out on a stage.
This reminds me of the song "Last Kiss" which I listened to on repeat for months when Pearl Jam covered it but haven't listened to in years. Thank you for reminding me!
What I like most about this piece is the anonymity of the protagonist; because it's easy to imagine any boy or man going through these things. It makes your message universal, reminiscent of "Everyman."
Parts of this piece seem really rushed. But perhaps that is your point if you are alluding to the fact that the whole piece is this man's suicide note.
I think that depression struggles are something that carry such a stigma still that putting pieces out there like this can be beneficial. What I would have liked (and this is purely me) is a note of hope at the end. But I'm totally a happily ever after kind of person.
Outstanding. It's almost poetry (which I don't usually enjoy) but it's the only thing I can describe this as. I feel that some people will read this and think it's ridiculous. Others will read it and assume that it's a grander idea that they can't understand and therefore hate it. Me? I fall somewhere between knowing that I've been had and wondering what it all could add up to. It's eloquent nonsense. It makes me feel smart and stupid at the same time.
I love the twist (I'm a sucker for a twist) and would like to know more. Great build up. Can I safely assume that Julia is the escaped mental patient? If so, how does she ail? I think this is a great jumping off point for novel or novella. Can't wait to read more. Well done!
I can only hope that Maddie can realize that "Nerd" isn't a four letter word anymore. I can see this an an excellent jumping off point for something empowering for women.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bevanshudson
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:42am on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
