This is such a lovely testimonial to a much love dog. They are wonderful aren't they. I think it is less of a poem than a little series of stories or vignettes about him. Maybe you could actually write a story about him. Alternatively write a shorter poem from the perspective of the dog, from his voice without your translation. In any case there is enough in this to get a real and beautiful picture of your beautiful dog friend - best and keep writing :)
Sad poem with just a few words you have captured the stultifying feeling of being disempowered - little nuances such as the passenger window underline the lack of control. Nice work
This is an interesting poem and one I think a lot of strong people might relate to - that sense that one must be there for others often means people take you for granted - I liked it but found it sad. I suppose I was meant to which means it is successful. As they say here ....write on...cheers Michele
Hey there Captain - dipped into your verse too - really like this one. I am not much of a rhymer because it tends to restrict my thoughts and being a Sagittarian disrupts my flow when I can't find a word to fit - I get too impatient with myself! You seem to be able to find those words so well. I really like the notion that the parents here are lost too - there are cycles of abuse and they are so hard to break. I know I have tried to help people from time to time but usually they act out what they know. One thing I would do in the second ro last verse is change they are to they're because it flows better. This is altogether though a thoughtful poem.
This is great - I have tried the sonnet format and always feel modern words don't fit well with teh structure - so I continue to explore - but I love the way you have used language in this and the lovely image of the piano and its music living on - this is excellent - best Michele
Paul - grow the oranges - don't succumb, because you know what? You can do all the other stuff and be moderately successful at it but there will be a bit of you still yearning to be out there in a Spanish orchard. Travel, defer uni, maybe do a trade school diploma instead - take a gap year and keep writing. Don't be sad be eager and be your own man.
good luck - Michele
How good is this - I want to read more - I already love Rane - is there more? This is really clean writing and evokes so much without needing to be over explained - I love it - cheers Michele
I love the sweet simplicity of this poem and the gentle rhyme - also the concept that in being with someone else you gain a new perspective - great work - cheers M
What a great poem - delicate and interesting - the rhyme is subtle and effective - I think this is quite haunting and strikes a chord for anyone who has ended a relationship - excellent - cheers M
This is a bit sad but I liked it - we all struggle to fit with someone and so often it is hit and miss...but honestly I can't understand why she would tell her lover about the man she dreams of - seems cruel to me.
I've not been much of a fam of rhyme but you have handled it well here - so that's my 10 cents worth - sigh.... : ).
Keep at it ...poetry is a wonderful way to process thoughts - cheers Michele
This is a lovely way of expressing the development of a great realtionship - I really liked it - simple but effective. Good luck - keep writing - cheers Michele
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