\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/becksie
Review Requests: OFF
114 Public Reviews Given
420 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Terra,

Ouch, morbid.
But also hope and freedom in that painless impact.

I enjoyed the tone of the poem and it made me feel very light.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
2
2
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Lee,

Fantastic story that ended tragically.
It made me cry and that she would have had such unfortunate accidents.
I have a 3 year old and I try watching her and holding her hands as much as possible.
I can't imagine any of those things happening to her. *shiver*

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
3
3
Review of Loud and Proud  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tyler,

This was a very amusing take on being loud. So I guess that is where I went wrong. not only am I short, I am not very loud. Must be my English genes.

But yes, going into a meeting in the office where most employees are male is pretty much a shouting contest. Speak firmly and loudly!

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
4
4
Review of The philosopher  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,

The below is just my opinion and suggestions and you as the author always has the final say.

Interesting poem with interesting ideas.
Although Bleach? That is usually to clean and make things perfect and spotless.
When I read Bleach my mind flipped instantly to the anime, which was odd.
So a better idea would have been to make it something darker. Ink?
But that sex is a new trend and idea? That was just odd as it was there from the start.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
5
5
Review of Iguaçu Falls  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Roberto,

Sounds wonderful and I am glad you enjoyed the trip.
Didn't you get soaked walking along the bridges?
Unfortunaly although I am from Sao Paulo, I have never been down south.

Although the description was short, it was enough to capture some of the beauty of the place. The description of the birds which were flying around freely in the regions, the quatis, and all did make it sound like the Garden of Eden.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
6
6
Review of INSIDE A MIND  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Loretta,

Fantastic!
I loved the way the ideas were formed in the darkness, as a whole new world is created.
I tend to do it with my eyes opened, but I catch myself staring intomy imaginary world.
I might ocasionally pace the room not looking at anything, but the inside of my mind.

I liked the way you managed to capture that feeling.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
7
7
Review of Master  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Kristi,

Powerful and seductive.
My favourite line was I promise to keep
your loved ones away
Yet it still manages to seduce.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
8
8
Review of The Diaper Change  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

That is so perfect!
I absolutely loved it.
My favourite bit was:

"See what we got,
Hot Fudge,
Engine Sludge,
Don’t Budge"

Within that stanza, I liked the "don't budge".
I was lucky that my daughter rarely budged and when she did, it was easy to calm her down. On the other hand, my nephew, who is 1 month younger than my daughter, is a wriggler. Sometimes 2 people are needed to change his diaper. I think he has improved lots now that he is 2 1/2.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
9
9
Review of Two Wise Women  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Professor,

This was a truly inspiring story.

I will not go into details such as bureaucracy and how perhaps it would have taken long time to actually establish the factory and all. But from the perspective of bringing hope to the life of millions it would be good if it were as simple as that. perhaps it is, but the masses and the minority don't always see eye to eye and co-operate.

Twenty-years apart from his parents is a long time. Quite sad. I am glad they got on and made up for the lost time.

Now some little technical details:

“It wasn’t easy. Linda’s family never liked me. The only reason we made America our home was because it would be easier for me to settle down here there than for her in India.” => use there because at the moment Sid is in India.

Sid was amused to see his precocious daughter walk about the house with a Bengali dictionary in her hand. She is 17, doing what she is at the moment is not a sign of precocity.

As usual, thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
10
10
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your Highness,

May I be your humble reviewer.

I have rated our poem purely based on content.
I liked the way you captured a person's feelings and expressions. The manner how some people create masks to hide their true feelings. Also how some people cannot be bothered to discover what is behind it. Some people are so enveloped in themselves that they forget to ask or even attempt to see what lies behind.

You have captured that very well.

As for your typos, just missing a few letters here and there. Your keyboard and mine should meet. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
11
11
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dakota,

Interesting poem.
It shows us about how sometimes we view ourselves and how others view us.
The poet sees a monster, but the person in love with the poet sees none of that.

Just a few typos and missing words:

2nd stanza, line 4: But that's not you hear. was it meant to read - But that's not what you hear.

last stanza, line 1: I thing your hearing's gone. Think

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
12
12
Review of Attack  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sorcerer,

I chant and sing
to no avail
The witch now has
Me pinned with a nail

I enjoyed this story rhyme. Highly imaginative and it flows very nicely.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
13
13
Review of Sun Moon Park  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I absolutely loved this.
Humorous.
The language is lovely as is the imagery.

I liked the play with the words at the end of each stanza.
Good job *Thumbsup*

All the best,
Becks
14
14
Review of My Other Me  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Courtney,

A beautiful rhyme.
I loved the way the poem flowed.
I liked the idea of looking into a mirror and seeing yourself and what is missing.
Whether you are whole by yourself or if someone else out there makes you whole.

A touching poem.

All the best,
Becks
15
15
Review of Facing Forward  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Courtney,

A poem about tomorrow.
No matter what happens today, there is always tomorrow.
Hope and sunshine await you the following day.

Thank you for sharing.

I think this might be a typo: Show the would that you are proud. was that meant to read world?

All the best,
Becks
16
16
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi SummerLyn,

Three simple lines, and yet, I could extrapolate it and write an essay on them.
The choice of staring at the rough sea rather than the calm sea gave me so much more to think about.
Calm sea is cliche and forgetful, but the rough sea creates such a strong image and imprint in my mind.

Excellent choice of image/painting. *Bigsmile*

All the best,
Becks
17
17
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Wookibus,

A lovely piece of encouragement. Letting the artist know what it is like for an outsider to admire the magic created by the stroke of the paintbrush, the smudge of the charcoal.
The moments captured on the blank canvas and creating life.
What a gift it is to create.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
18
18
Review of Daeva  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Jaguaress,

What comes next?!?
There is more, right? Please say yes!

The story flows very well and engages the reader from beginning to end.

I loved everything about this story. The names of the planets, the characters' names, and of course, the events here told.
The scene on the intertelar flight was rather amusing and we get to know more about Hamistagan.

The attack of the Daeva and how they attach to the body was very well demonstrated via the woman jumping onto the platform.

I couldn't find any glaring grammatical error. The dialogues and character description were good and we have a clear picture of Edur's physique and character.

Thank you for sharing and I am certainly looking forward to a sequel *Wink*

All the best,
Becks
19
19
Review of Their Tears  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dear Matti,

First of all, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your stay here and should you need anything, please don't hesitate to contact me.

It is an interesting poem that one should never forget one's cultural heritage. That somewhere in the past people have fought to maintain it and that by forgetting, we are not honouring their memory, or ours for that matter.

My favourite line was "to remember those struggles" because it is to easy to forget when dealing with our everyday problems.

Now in terms of grammar, your commas are all over the place.
Granted that when it comes to free form verses, it is debatable whether or not to respect punctuation. Yet, you have placed commas and for that reason, will point out where there should be none:

- so that you, may have the privilege no reason fr a comma here as you have interrupted the thought. You may have... no comma
- and puddles, of tears again, puddles of tears... no reason why there should be a comma

- the shoe prints left on his face,
the terror, burned into hers
the gas filling his lungs
and the bullets piercing their hearts If you read this as one sentence, this is how the commas should have been placed:

the shoe prints left on his face, the terror burned into hers, the gas filling his lungs, and the bulets piercing their hearts.

The commas separating the sequence of occurances.

- I ask you,
as human beings
do we not owe them

This is the last one, I promise *Wink* I ask you, as human beings, do we not owe them . Because here you can remove as human beings and the phrase left will still make sence.

I hope this helps and sorry to be so picky.

Once again, please enjoy your stay and don't hesitate to ask me anything.

Keep on writing. *Smile*

All the best,
Becks
20
20
Review of Hopeful  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Lulu.

I guess that is love.
That you patiently wait for someone to say something kind, or a kind gesture.
That they'll treat you well rather than with cold indifference.
On the other hand, how can we be silly to love someone who treats us so badly?
Hope. Silly blind hope. Silly blind love.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
21
21
In affiliation with The Quills Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Mary,

I am reviewing your poem as one of the judges for The Quill Awards.

A beautiful memory. My favourite line is I had bright stars and rainbows in my eyes because I see that in children. When I look at my daughter she has that look. Every child should be allowed to have that.
The descriptions are vivid and I could practically see the scenario unfold before my eyes. I wish I had been there! But somehow, the poem did take me there.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
22
22
Review of A Brave Struggle  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Quills Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Elflord,

I am reviewing your poem as one of the judges for The Quill Awards.

Sad. That was the first that crossed my mind. The second thought was evil.
You desccribed the whole struggle the baby antelope goes through. The miracle of its birth.
And those horrid hunters just come along and snuff the lives of the animals.
Frustrating.
Very good.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
23
23
Review of Onion Skin  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Quills Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kat,

I am reviewing your poem as one of the judges for The Quill Awards.

The comparison to an onion is great. I have always liked that analogy. For instance, I am attempting to write an onion of a story at the moment. *Bigsmile*
I loved the way this poem evolved and the layers of the onion were explained. Although I had never thought of the heart of the onion. That was quite beautiful, that the heart will be given to the one who patiently peels the onion and understand what lies beneath. Truly touching.

I also liked how the poet linked making tea to the friend.
I think of her, mostly when I make tea,
It gives a nice link to the begining and the end of the poem.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Becks
24
24
Review of Anniversary  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Quills Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Hunter,

I am reviewing your poem as one of the judges for The Quill Awards.

Great poem, you did a fantastic job setting the mood.
I could quote every favourite line back at you and would probably end up transposing the poem.

The ending with and freezes as it reaches
my heart. makes for such beautiful imagery, I can feel not just a broken card, but also anger.

spring will not return will he not ever love again? I would say his heart got broken fairly recently.

Washed up, a grotesque
reminder of what you were;
a victim not a person any longer.

I could interpret that in a number of ways. It made me wonder if she ran off with somebody else and changed. In the sense that she changed for the other person and is now no longer who he loved.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem.

All the best,
Becks
25
25
Review of Somewhere ch. 5  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review for Somewhere – Chapters 1-5

WDC Birthday Review – Happy 8 years on WDC!

CONCEPT/PREMISE

Aema is a person who seems to live in the beginning of times, or perhaps under an illusion spell put there by the Lakkins. Her world is grey, she is grey, everything is grey. One day she decides to break free and go somewhere other than the place she has been sitting for her entire 15 years of life.

At some point she starts to change herself and her surroundings. The Lakkins and Angels are unable to stop her as the world around her becomes more clear.

This is an interesting idea and appears to be a journey of self discovery.

STORYLINE and CHARACTERIZATION

As the story progresses, we learn more about Aema and her world. The author uses the first person and we see the world through the character’s eyes. The descriptions and her view of the world is everything we know.

The reader is aware of the character’s need to break free and it is almost as we were reading about the creation of the world. She discovers herself, her skin, her hair, water. As she gradually changes, the Angels look at her in amazement and we sense she is doing something she was not supposed to be doing.

We want to know more about who she is and whether is by herself on the planet. Or wherever it is that she is.


STRUCTURE

The author split the story into 5+ chapters and they are all very short. It gives the story a choppy feel and there seemed to be no reason as to why the author chose to do that. At first I thought it was because there was a different sort of transformation in each chapter, but it is not. Those five chapters could easily be put together as one without any loss.

STYLE

The author’s choice of having the story told in the first person is ideal as the reader is filled with the same wonder and amazement as Aema. The description and colour makes for a beautiful story.


OVERALL

I enjoyed reading this story and would like to read more. I am curious as to who aema is, why she was stuck in a grey world surrounded by Lakkins and Angels. I want to know what else she is going to discover. It is an interesting piece.

Thank you for sharing.

All the best,
Rebecca
28 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 2 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/becksie