Wow, That was powerful.
I am fascinated by trains, and often find myself walking along the tracks, so when I found that this story was going to be very centered on trains, It immediately took on a new personal level for me.
I loved that the characters had very childish names, like, Sally was a name I'd use as a child when I couldn't think of anything and needed a name. But, I didn't feel like you were just being lazy thinking of names, I felt a sense of nostalgia that really worked.
And Sally dying for Johnny was beautiful. He didn't like her very much, but she stuck with him till the end. She loved him to an extent far greater than many will ever feel.
In many ways that I wouldn't feel comfortable listing, this story struck me personally. I felt like it was written with me in mind (though I know that's far from the case) and it left me feeling choked up inside.
Basically, if i could erase the memory of reading this so I could reread and experience it for the first time all over again, I would.
I won't forget this story in a week, or even a month, as I do many stories on here. I know it'll stay with me. Thank you for sharing it.
Also, you are missing a J in this sentence:
"ake walked up to him,"
I really related to this and enjoyed reading it. Beautiful imagery, you have a way with words.
Also,when I first started reading, the song My Immortal started playing in my head, I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but it sort of bothered me. I feel like this poem was far too good to be overshadowed by a song.
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