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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/avanderbilt
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9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to discuss content over grammatical considerations, though if I think there is a structural issue where its improvement will improve the work, I will mention it. I structure my reviews in such a way that I will point out what is working, what could be changed, and give suggestion (when possible). I try to be encouraging and gentle, but I am always honest. I will always address the work, and not the writer.
I'm good at...
I'm good at pointing out the positives in a work (particularly with description - if I see a bit of description or characterization that is strong and unique, I will definitely mention this.) I am also good at finding holes in plots or minor details that may not be consistent with the overall plot. Most of all, I am good at respecting the author, no matter the level of experience, and funneling my comments towards the work.
Favorite Genres
Drama, fantasy, action/adventure, erotica, history, most genres.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror
Favorite Item Types
Novels and novellas, short stories, essays, nonfiction/experience writing, poetry.
Least Favorite Item Types
My only least favorite item type is anything that involves song lyrics.
I will not review...
Song lyrics.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Keeper of Secrets  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Dark Side's Writer's L...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Disclaimer: I am just an amateur writer who has taken a few workshops. Take what you find is helpful, and feel free to leave the rest.*Smile* I hope that you find my comments helpful.

Overall Impression:I really liked this story, and it brought tears to my eyes.

Character:You made Sandra, Tasha, and Chester so real to me. I liked that Tasha and Sandra had shared traumatic experiences, even if Tasha wasn't ready to share hers (understandably). I also liked how Sandra explained how Chester helped save her life by keeping all of her secrets.

What I liked about the story: Your description of the country was absolutely lovely. I felt true caring towards Sandra, Tasha, and Chester. I also liked that you described the horses, and obviously, Chester has been well-trained if he can be trusted with a young girl who has gone through such a traumatic experience in her life. This story is very well written!

Suggestion: My only suggestion would be to add something; I would love to see more of the interaction, particularly in the act of riding, between Tasha and Chester. I think it's important for us to see how Tasha and Chester both react so we can understand how Chester is a truly special, therapeutic horse and Tasha is on the path to healing.

Overall impression: This is a lovely story that drew me in, and I think it was paced just right with excellent character development of the main characters.
2
2
Review of Night Time Creek  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
My overall impression of this work is that you did a fine job working with what can be a difficult poetic structure. You repeated the lines without seeming overly repetitive, and that's a major strength to this poem.

The poem beautifully describes a quiet night on a creek as the sun sets, and you've also included what sense ARE still able to be sensed by adding the eerie glow of the moon's light and the hazy darkness filling the sky.

This reminds me of being an imagist poem where you have developed a very concrete image of a still night on a creek. The only line that keeps it from being an imagist poem is the line stating that "this part of the world has been forgotten." I don't think this is necessarily a detriment, but this line doesn't seem to quite fit with the rest of the poem. When I read this line, I immediately wonder WHY this place has been forgotten; is it a ghostly place, or is it just far out in the country where few people ever travel? (I know these questions are very difficult to answer using this structure.)

One other little thing is that the poem mentions tranquility several times, which is a dominant theme; however, the final line talks about nature singing a lullaby. Lullabies can be tranquil, but I think something that would strengthen the poem would be to add more of the sounds (in terms of the sensory imagery you have provided - all of which is lovely) in order to support this final line.

I really enjoyed reading this poem!
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