I enjoyed this held my attention it didn’t end the way I thought it would and that’s a good thing. Your pacing is good I think a bit more build up on the brothers but perhaps you left it that way to cause the reader to think
I like your flow of consciousness also as someone who has autism I related to this. ow do you use wings to fly when you’ve always be pushed into the ground.
I enjoyed the beginning low and pace. Defitnely had my attention, but it seemed to unravel a bit at the end. All in all I thought the idea played out well in the story.
Keep writing
I’d like if you ever decide to write a prequel
As someone who deals with Autism & ADHD and some serious chronic illness this poem is my day and at times my weeks and months while attempting to live an artist life.
I like it because of its rawness and utter vulnerability.
Don't give up and remember Rest Is Revolution
I read this as one who is about to turn 50. a half century I don't feel old except for my health and my knees oh and my back.
I say this to say your poem found me out later in the night on a Tuesday than I have been in a long while and I'm already regretting it.
I enjoyed how you made aging not a sadness but a outside loss while inside we are still young.
I enjoyed this thankyou
I read your poem as a grandmother and mother who has raised and loved children not always her own.
I read this as a mother estranged from her drug addicted bonus daughter reeling in the pain of knowing I can't help. I felt I was with you because I too have been there. I hope peace finds you and you allow her in and share your favorite drink. Hospitals are and lately seem to be the space of a levels of hell especially all they see is money signs. Condolences for you.
Well written
Keep writing
Hello
I really liked the imagery and I'm familiar with
the bible verses
but the lines reminded of
a love poem and I could feel the
seaweed wrapped around my head.
the Poem is very visceral well done.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/artiste50
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 4:18am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "