Impressive work of imagination. Weed out the typos and I am sure it will be reviewed by many more. I liked the concept. I would like to read more from you. Keep it coming.
Really Powerful thoughts. It is really a nice gesture on your part to set up a fund to help such kids. Every drop counts. It kind of reminded me of a poem on the paper boat. Eventually the boat does sink in the rain water but while it is afloat, it thanks the rain that it is happy to be part of the ocean through it (the rain).
Fabulous piece of work. To fit words in free verse, making the shape out of letters of the words rich in images is not everyone's cup of tea. Impressive work on art in art form. It is good to have people like you to guide newbies like me.
Cool. You leave me unsatisfied just as the Sentry. Believe me, for your talent, I was watching the build-up for some equally exciting end like the other story on Lizard Alien. You have raised the standards in your earlier story and it is imperative not to be compared on the art front. Whoever coined the word "masterpiece"? :)
It somehow seems incomplete. I think you want to say some more to it.
Perhaps it is time to move on to new dreams and work them out. At the end of the day, life gets the odds and evens right in the same ratio as it does for everyone.
I didn't see any reason to attribute that you are poor in prose. Perhaps it may be that you express yourself more vivdly through peoms. If you have a good idea to express then I guess grammar or punctuation are not the barriers. I don't know if I am qualified to be a good judge but I do know for sure that writing comes with passion to express and I see plenty of it in you. Keep writing.
I liked your idea of differentiation between the waters one has gone through to the ocean ahead. It kind of reminded me of a poetic expression where a poet relates himself/herself to be a paper boat. Though the poet compares self with the paper boat, he/she is grateful that it is playing it's part (role) in the life of a water. Good expression. Keep it up.
Very touching entries. What we write in first person makes us look into a mirror inside us. Obviously the "left" appears "right" and vice-versa but one will miss a point if he/she fails to notice that the truth of a mirror standing up to the reality can be seen even if it is broken into a thousand pieces. Isn't it interesting to note that every broken piece of a mirror stands up for the same truthful image as it would show "unbroken"?
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