I saw your review request for "The Girl From Mile End. Ch 1." on the Please Review page. I tend to favor fantasy over historical drama, but I quite like books like Shanghai Girls and The Things We Cannot Say as well, so I thought I'd give it a read.
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Overall Impression
Dialogue is always a good starter. The short exchange at the beginning between Elise and Alice that led to the descriptive paragraph drew me in. That said, as I kept reading, I did begin to feel a bit overwhelmed by the amount of dialogue in the story. It was very back and forth, and I had to reread quite a few parts because I had trouble following who was speaking. It felt sort of monotone. I wasn't able to form much of a connection with any of the characters, which I, personally, would need to want to continue reading the story as a whole.
What I Liked
I liked the way your story flows. Each scene had a day-in-the-life feel to it, which I consider important in historical war dramas.
What I Didn't Like
I didn't like that the story was primarily dialogue dependent.
My Suggestions
Try to flesh out the story with more description in-between the dialogue. Whether it's environmental, action, or the lead's thoughts, feelings and observations, I think adding more description would help to keep readers engaged.
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