feelings and emotions really come through in this poem and the line
" It wasn't enough for me to just scratch the surface,
I had to penetrate you right down to the core" is a very powerful statement, well written flowed well, i enjoyed reading it keep up the good work
this is a fitting tribute to all the armed forces, i guess most of us get caught up in everyday life etc we forget these brave men and women are fighting a battle day in day out, i enjoyed reading this poem it's well written and as it say's "oh the cost i've paid" they pay the ultimate price for doing there job much respect goes to everyone serving or know's someone that is,
you can really feel the emotion come through in this poem, i myself write from situations that have happened in my life and i feel this is where the true emotions lay, and if you can get those emotions through to the reader as you have done with this poem it makes good reading
i enjoyed this poem its a reminder that although we all do say there's plenty of time in reality time passes by to quickly ,its well written and straight to the point
the feelings of excitement and the nerves all came through well,you also described the emotions one can feel which for me added depth to the poem, i enjoyed reading this
hi, i enjoyed reading this poem the words flowed nicely the emotions of despair come through as do the feeling of inner peace at the end, well written.
hi, im only a newbie and this is only my opinion
i enjoyed reading this the character believes in fate knowing his soul mate is out there and also having the faith that one day they will meet, you could of maybe added a bit more of what the character is expecting eg "i know you will be an angel sent from up above and when you entre my life you will fill it with so much love' this is just a suggestion hope this helps
hi,i'm only a newbie and this is just my opinion
its a sweet piece and the love you have for you're sister is apparent throughout,it is well writen and flows nicely 'a beautiful soul is all i see' is a good line think we all forget how pure and innocent children are. a lovely poem Alarissa
All the best
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