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Review by Andrew Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi, Stephan,

Overall, I enjoyed the story. You have a good premise with a lot of potential. But the story seems way too complicated for a short story; it's more like a synopsis for a novel. All those characters with their complicated and unfamiliar Norwegian names are difficult to keep track of and only slow down the story. I think that the story would be much more effective if you limited the characters and simplified the action to revolve around Alek, Tyra, and Tollak.

Keep on writing!

Andrew S

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