WOW! I love that you throw us right in, head first. No questions asked it is happening now so pay attention! So many questions, hints and teasing it is almost like foreplay. Really love the way you are handling this, it is fresh and inventive. A creative twist when the mundane has become prevalent.
On tiny suggestion...use more periods. Don't be scared of them. Break up your long comma filled sentences with periods. It does wonders for the pace and momentum.
Thoroughly enjoyed.
AmyR
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