Overall I found this writing very imaginative. Very creative and graphic. The idea of going back in time to murder the parent's of Lizzie Borden yourself was interesting. In the 4th paragraph where you say "I needed to be to purchase the bullet" did you mean to put " I needed to be ABLE to purchase the bullet"? That's really the only thing I found with the story. Overall very well done.
First of all I would like to say that every writer's style is unique and their own. These are simply suggestions
Impression:
Very nice rhyming scheme. Very nice reflection of a love lost.
Thoughts:
I felt like the writer was losing someone or had lost someone they loved by that person never really loved them back. Very nicely done on portraying emotions.
Suggestions:
Watch your capitalization on words like "I, I'm " stuff like that. Your' should be You're.
Final Review:
Over all I thought it was well written. Just watch the things I mentioned above. Like I said overall it's a very nice poem. Keep writing.
Once again, very well done. I can tell you that I am so addicted to reading your series that I visit your port everyday looking for new stuff on Lisa Lansing. My husband picks on me because I am truly addicted and I can't wait to read the rest. You are a true writer. The last time I was this interested in a writer it was James Patterson LOL. Good job, keep up the good work! Can't wait to read more.
Very nicely done. Very creative, it kept my attention the whole time wondering who was going to outbid whom. It was also very light hearted and comical in some ways. I don't really do reviews on short stories for I am more of a poetry person but I loved this one. Thanks for the read.
I thought it was good, check your words I think one ran together and just needs a space. But overall it was good. Perfect for that special someone for V-Day. Keep writing
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