The poem does a wonderful job portraying different approaches to talking about love. In the third stanza, the tone is distinctly humorous, even playful, then the final stanza shifts back to the bald solemnity that commentaries on love must ultimately come back to. Repetition is used effectively in the first line of each stanza, and the poem maintains a strong rhythm throughout.
This review is submitted as a fee for my entry in the Five Star Poetry Contest.
The most intriguing part of this poem is the way you've withheld details vital to understanding each stanza until the third or fourth line, often making use of inversion so as to delay the revelation further. One of my favorite clauses is in the first line of the fourth stanza. Saying 'in job' and leaving it at that was a stroke of genius.
This piece is quite well-written, particularly for an informal experiment. It has a distinctive whimsey to it that lends the reader a childish sense of delight at the spoon's distortions and at the discovery thereof. Very impressed with the the language in general, though personally, I would rethink the use of the word 'clack.' There's probably a better option out there.
'And a fork! What elegance!' Is a great line. Keep up the good work!
While clearly a vehemently political poem (that I happen to agree with) I will refrain from political commentary and instead review objectively.
One thing that caught my attention is the phrasing of the first line in paragraph three. You say 'brought forth' a nation, which implies responsibility for the existence of the nation itself rather than the state that nation is in. Switching a few words around usually clears up this sort of ambiguity, though.
I didn't really understand the 'fruitcake in American History' line; I'm not sure if you meant he just acts like a fruitcake, or if you're referring to the fact that nobody actually likes fruitcake.
This is a strange mixture of indignation and whimsey, an effect created by your criticism in the form of a rhyming poem. Overall, it's a very interesting way to convey political frustration. Keep it up!
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