Cool. I really liked the part when "The winds picked up, the rain became a constant fall of water, no longer separated into drops by leaves and branches, and the first rolling sounds of far off sky fire could be heard, at fairly close intervals. Ai'Liel just hoped he could make it far enough into the forest to be protected from the brunt of the anger of the powerful storm. But, since he was still far enough away from the motherwood to be considered "in the outreaches", he knew the chances of that were slim, and getting more so by the moment." That made me really interested.
I guess that was good, but maybe next time you could use just a little bit more words or characters... But I think altogether, it was pretty good.
But just please remember what what I said. Then you will be a really good writer one day. Like being famous and all that. Have a good life!
This was good...........................................................................................................................................................................Really good......................................................I love it.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/amazingmikeman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 6:35pm on Nov 14, 2024 via server WEBX1.