I really liked this! It was an emotional poem that had tears to my eyes. Today, it is uncommon to find such happy couples for so long. Congratulations on so many great years! I hope to have that one day too!
That is just so sweet that you were so young when you met. I am 26, never married, and just now found someone I think I want to marry.
I like how you used jewelery to signify the different years of your marriage.
Your rhyme scheme worked great with your word choices.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem! Good luck in the future!
Even though this was a 55 word story, I really did not expect the ending you gave! I was thinking maybe it was a first date or something like that. I really liked how I was totally surprised at the last line.
Even though this was only 55 words, it seemed like it was a full and complete story, leaving the reader to finish the rest.
I enjoyed reading this poem! I have seen the Monet exhibit in London, England so I can understand the feelings you are producing through the lily pads
"The gorgeous and colorful aqueous plant life In watery opalescence..."----- I love this choice of descriptive words! I like the word aqueous to portray the greenish tones in the lily pads. And opalescence is a good word to describe the refection of light on the water top.
I have enjoyed reading all of your works. i am a newbie and always looking for inspiration.
This was a fun story! I really liked being able to add my own chapter! Feel free to check out my addition! My chapter is titled: "Fattie Pattie's Allday Special Surprise."
I am going back to find out all the other endings.
Good job on the creativeness!
I have to say I envy you. I know we are at different times in our lives ( I am only 26), but I wish I had the writing capabilities that you possess. I have always been an avid reader and writer, but lately I feel like I really would like to write novels. Not as my main career ( I am almost done with my bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice), but as a secondary. I would never do it just for the money. Writing has always been a passion, and I am trying to further my education.
I would love any advice you could give an up-and-coming young writer. I am working on a novel now about a female serial killer. Law enforcement interests me so much. I agree with you on CSI, I love that show! And Law and Order is another favorite of mine!
Well, I really enjoyed reading about your life. I hope you are interested in helping out a newbie! I am open to all critiques.
Thank you for your time.
This was good, very intense. I was unsure whether you were really dead, and your spirit was trapped. Or you were alive and trapped, just feeling like you were dead, or wishing you were.
Either way, it moved me. You really had me feeling like I was in hell.
"Like a teasing salvation I can never reach..."---- This was probably my favorite line. I think you worded it perfectly.
I really liked this poem! I am a big fan of spicing up my cooking, so I could relate to your words. I am an avid cooker and I love reading about food too!
It was interesting how you described the roots of each spice in such short lines. Your choice of descriptive words was excellent.
Overall, I really like your poem. It was enjoyable to read and it kept me reading on.
This sounds like a very peaceful day! I can imagine myself on a beach with a pina colada feeling the warm breeze.
Were you thinking of any place in particular or do you leave it up to the reader's imagination?
It must be nice to write about peaceful situations. I tend to write about near-truthful mystery topics.
Wow! This was a very exciting story! It kept me interested throughout! I wanted to hurry up and read it fast so I could see what happened? Is this just a short story or excerpts from a longer piece? I really enjoyed reading it! I am a huge fan of thriller/suspense/horror pieces. I am interested myself in writing in those genres. I could always use some advice if you have the time to criticize me. My handle is mandygal00.
Awesome story!
This was pretty moving. I have been in a similar situation. I had a boyfriend that was addicted to cocaine. I told him he had to choose the drugs, or me. He was smart and made the right decision. I feel like I really helped someone overcome an addiction and it felt so good. But to stay with someone like that just brings you down with them. Be strong. Good piece!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/am_carlton
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 7:12am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
