In the first paragraph you say thru and it should be through. Overall it is pretty funny but I think you could add a little more detail and have sentences that are not quite as choppy. I think you need a more climactic ending as well. It doesn't seem any different than the rest.
This story was GREAT! It kept me on my feet until the very end. I love the idea although i think you should change the dialogue up a little bit. They don't seem to talk with the air that people of that wealth would talk. Also you introduce Christi as the very first character and she is basically useless to the story. I think you should include her a little bit more and that could show a little bit more into Darrel's character with how he behaves around her. Other than that i really liked it. Good job. Keep up the Good work
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