All I can say is WoW! I love this piece. Butterflies are one of my favorite things. The imagery is great in this piece is beautiful. I think this describes love so well for so many women. It can so many times be so much like a gilded cage. I don't have any suggestions to change anything in this piece.
Thank you for sharing this with the community.
Alanna
I found this really interesting that your work came up on my read and review right now. This is so pertinent to people now. So many people are struggling due to the changes in the world. The imagery you use is very clear, I can certainly "see" what you are talking about. It reads very easy as well. It is also very personal. I don't think I would change anything about this!
Thank you for sharing your work with the community.
~Alanna
This is a really fun piece. I enjoyed reading it quite a bit. It has the imagery that I come to expect from your writing and an element of fun from the chosen subject. I appreciate the personification of the washing machine, something that most people have in their homes and probably never think twice about, at least until it breaks down. This is a light-hearted, fun piece.
Very entertaining. I enjoyed this story immensely. One correction I have is the use of your should be you're in the dialog. I love the imagination of this work. Although there is a lot of telling rather than showing in your story, I was able to "see" the story in my mind. Great job!
The only correction that I have is the word career is spelled incorrectly. I found this poem entertaining to read. It had a quick pace and was fun to read. I remember taking my own entrance exams and how much stress they can cause. Those are one thing I'm glad I don't have to repeat ever again! It's one of those things that is like a right of passage. Thanks for sharing your work.
Stunning piece of work. You make the characters believable and you do a great job of showing the reader this scene instead of just telling us. I also appreciate your nod to literature when you refer to the "ninth circle". It shows you have a great creative mind and a deep thought process to me. I enjoyed reading this very much. Congrats on winning the 24-hour prompt contest as well.
I love this idea. This is a great idea for a blog. Very unique as well! I bet you have lots of interesting topics to discuss and debate on your blog. I look forward to reading your blog entries. The historical reference to this well-known cliche is also really interesting.
Very good. I can see this well-dressed businessman walking through his office in the morning with his work tools and sitting at his desk toiling away. We live in a world that every industry is about costs and expenses that this speaks well to this day and age, but could also be found in another decade. Great piece of work. I have no suggestions for changes or for improvements. Thanks for sharing your work with the community.
Very interesting. This to me seems like the cat and the potential lover are woven into one person. This has a fascinating story and is interesting to me to read. I can see in my mind's eye a man traveling around town daydreaming about his potential love. Great piece of work. Thanks for sharing with the community.
Very pretty imagery. I enjoyed reading this piece. I love maple syrup so this is a great topic for me! I also enjoy being in the wood greatly. If I had any feedback I would say to give the reader more filling their senses in being outside. Like how does the sun feel? How about the wind? This is a great topic and a good piece. Thanks for sharing your work with the community.
Very interesting piece. You have a great piece here that shows the conflict between two people and the damage that a mistake from one person can do to a friendship. I think every person that has ever lived has made a mistake that has cost a friendship. Overall I think this is a great piece. The way you captured the conflict is well done. I don't have any suggestions for change. Great piece of work. Thank you for sharing with the community.
I think this piece is just the right length and has a great sense of humor in it. The length is good and it has good tempo and rhythm. The choice for making your font in the color of your topic is a good choice as well. The color choice adds to the piece of work aesthetically. I don't have any suggestions to change anything in this piece. I really like this the way it is. Thank you for sharing your work with the community.
Ha! I enjoyed this a lot. Great sense of humor, I loved the brown cow with the pointed hat at the end. Your main character is relatable and a bit of a mischief maker. I love the description of the old bull. I really enjoyed your poem and it made me laugh in the end. I have no suggestions for improvement. Great job!
This makes me think of an episode of a TV show with a patient with a teratoma and everyone is excited and poking at him. As a nurse, I wondered how the patient must feel. Trapped in his own body. Confused at what is happening. Sometimes healthcare providers (yes even some nurses) can be well-meaning and say the completely wrong things...and some are just mean. I really enjoyed this work. You captured this rare occurrence well. I enjoyed reading this piece. I get a sense of the character feeling trapped by their condition. I have no suggestions to change this. Great job.
Wow! This is an amazing piece. I really enjoyed reading it. Childbirth was so dangerous for women historically. You captured that well. We take advantage of today, I think, that it isn't as dangerous as it once was. This is a feeling piece from the beginning to the end. I believe anyone who has lost someone holds onto a piece of them. This piece is great as it is or would be just as great in a longer version. As it is I have no recommendations for changes. Great work!
I think you have a really good start to something here. There are deep emotions and you have captured the human reaction to bottle up things inside.
My recommendation is to develop this more. Show us the feelings instead of just telling. I sometimes do the same thing and start telling instead of showing. This has a good tempo and rhythm. Keep up the good work.
Ha! I enjoy the humor in this piece very much! All your characters here are very believable and can be found in any town anywhere in America. The cartoon to open your piece starts out the right mood for the entire story. I can see this happening in any Chinese restaurant anywhere! Thanks for making my day a little brighter!
This is a good piece. I do find the lines "I am loved by all, hated by those who fear me." a bit awkward. Otherwise, great piece. An interesting historical figure to write about as well. I read up on the link you provided and found it interesting as well. Great job
I have to say, I'm thoroughly grossed out by your descriptions of the boys spitting. Really good job at the imagery here. I think we all knew a kid like Jack in high school. The brief description you gave of him makes the reader identify with his situation and makes him a likable character.
This piece also has a great lesson in the end about the consequences which seems appropriate for the audience that you indicated in your intro.
You have a talent for being tongue in cheek...the pun intended here! You also have a great way of making a situation that many people really do fear-going to the dentist- humourous. When you mentioned needle I started thinking it was about getting a tattoo. Very interesting.
Death is the great equalizer. I worked in hospice as a nurse for three years and have seen it many times over. You have exemplified this so well in this piece.
In this piece, I enjoyed the imagery with the royalty and how despite their gilded lives when it comes down to it, they are humans. Humans are failable and all the same on the inside. Again you captured this in your poem here. I like the length on this piece and I think this could also become a longer piece as well. I'm not saying this needs to be longer...it could go either way.
Great tempo and rhythm. The rhyming feels more subtle to me than other choices that you could have made, which I like. Sometimes rhyming takes away from the work rather than enhance it.
Another great piece. Thank you for asking me to review it!
Very interesting piece. I found this thoughtful and interesting to read. I appreciate your take and information on such an important subject. The community where I live has implemented several projects for renewable energy. I have also considered taking my own house "off the grid" and living off renewable resources. This is an interesting topic and needs more attention! Great work!
Very well done. I enjoyed reading this piece. It's nice to see a longer poetry piece on the community. You have a great feeling in this piece. You have great imagery in the writing. I don't have any suggestions for changing your work. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Very well done. I enjoyed reading this piece. It's nice to see a longer poetry piece on the community. You have a great feeling in this piece. You have great imagery in the writing. I don't have any suggestions for changing your work. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Wow! Very good piece of work. The work is short but it has a huge impact. I really enjoyed reading this piece. It is well written and gives a great scene. This would be great in a larger piece or to be left as a stand-alone piece. I have no suggestions for changing this piece.
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