There's a lot of emotion in this piece with the contrast between the girl being pretty but thinking she's ugly. You can feel the pain here, like she's locked away in a place she can't escape from. I also liked your use of words. When I read this, I thought of an abused girl walking in the dark, remembering a time when she wasn't in pain. Wonderful work!
The prologue gets you into the main character's mind and lets readers learn about the world. The writing was smooth, and your use of words was great! I didn't spot any repeated words or work echoes. I also enjoyed your descriptions. I didn't rate five stars because a prince who doesn't want to be a prince is pretty typical, but I'll keep reading the story to see what makes it different from other fantasy stories.
Wow! This was a really good, creepy short story. The writing was smooth; nothing felt telly and all the pieces of information were dropped so well. Awesome job!
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