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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/adelion22
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47 Public Reviews Given
47 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I knew it was you right when I read it. I think if you had written this with more detail and emotion it could have been better. I encourage you to write your short story not about hunting. I know it's easier because it's what you know best but surprise us by thinking outside of the box. I know you probably won't take my advice but you should consider what I said.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
When I read the title I thought it was going to be a sweet cliche Christmas poem but it wasn't. I like how it was short. Good job.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like the story incorporated with the poem. The rhyming was very well written and the poem was fantastic. Great job.
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Review of Ghost  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
The rhyming could have been written a little better. I liked the italics because it added to the drama.
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Review of Basement  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am very sorry for your pain. I know it probably took a lot to write this. I really felt the emotion.
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Review of Seven Eleven  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Try singing this in a really dramatic voice. It made it much more enjoyable. I liked the rhyming. Good job.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This recipe looks delicious. I'll have to try it sometime. For now I sent it to my teacher.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really liked the imagery displayed in this poem. It was a little difficult to understand but that's okay because I read it again. Great job!
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Review of Surprise!  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hahaha this was pretty funny. Good job.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is pretty emotional. Good job.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I wish the grammar had been a little better. I wish it was a little bit more original too. Good job though.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I know you can't have tons of detail but I wish there was a little more. Great job.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really liked the dialogue in this and how obsessed the men were with Courtney. I was kind of confused about the "I choose me." but other than that I really enjoyed this. It was quite amusing.
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Review of Homecoming  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
That would be really really embarrassing. I really loved the imagery in this and how it was really short but got the point across. This story was hilarious. Too bad you aren't a professional writer, then you could get that money for that fancy shmancy racquet.
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Review of Julie's Treasure  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Aw. How sweet. It was very nice of the main character to be nice and not be mean to the little girl for spilling juice on her baby blanket. I love how she gave it to the little girl too.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Oh geez, it just got real. I haven't seen a ton of episodes but I've seen enough to know all of the characters and such. I liked how you kept their personalities some except I can't imagine Eric hooking up with Jackie. Overall I liked the story. Good job.
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Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was hilarious. I'm assuming that Marlene put the fake head there and I really liked the plot line. I also can imagine Marlene being sarcastic or sassy when she said that last like. Good job.
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Review of Be A Man  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Seems a sexist kind of vibe is coming from this but I like the simplicity and rhyming of it.
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Review of Shadow Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, I love this poem. I love poetry and this is amazing. The rhyming is present but subtle and I really like that element of poetry. It flows very well and I love how it's the same amount of syllables each line. The word choices are fantastic. I have absolutely no complaints for this.
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Review of Heart Condition  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I liked how you didn't come right out and say it was a religious poem. I would have liked the last stanzas to be a little longer though. Great job!
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Review of Fingerprints  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
When I first saw this poem and how short it was I was thinking that it wasn't going to be very good but it completely blew me away. It had so much mystery and I love how you used your wording. It could be a little child finger painting or a grown woman that is a criminal. That's how I interpreted it. I really liked this.
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Review of He Will Tell You  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This poem made me tear up a little. I'm not depressed but when I see poetry or stories or listen to songs about depression I get a little emotional. This poem was very well written and it had a lot of emotion. It being italicized also really helped while reading because it was fancy. Terrific job.
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Review of Freedom  Open in new Window.
Review by adelion22 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
When I read this, I feel like the man and woman are married. This woman loves this man but he doesn't treat her right. In about the middle she had a realization and escaped from the hell that was her marriage (or whatever their relationship was). I really loved "she twirled twirled twirled" because I imagine a young woman running in a field and dancing, happy. Overall, this poem was very nice.
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