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2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by 2Kool2BAGirl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Meg,

I like, a lot.

I only found a couple of typos.

I think it could be improved, hence the low rating. But I have no idea how.

The white space is enough, so that I didn't get a headache from reading. The pace is fast enough for the story to be interesting and yet not too fast, slow enough for the emotions to come to the fore.

Just my first impressions. Excellent work! Keep it up.
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Review by 2Kool2BAGirl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

While your first two paragraphs are very interesting, I gave up reading after that because of the formatting. Make your paragraphs about two to three sentences long. Double space your paragraphs. Adding more white space should help with the readability.

Also, your item needs to be edited and revised. I am not sure of the technical terms but the sentences seem too long and disconnected. Shortening the sentences might help with both problems.

Very interesting concept. I can't wait to read the rest.
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