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| This anuses me haha. Love it. 02. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. |
| The First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them) 01. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 02. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. 03. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 04. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 05. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public. 06. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. 07. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 08. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 09. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor." 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one. |
| Drum-roll please. Or not. Coming in January, 2020, WDC's prodigal son, Timtu, returns and rejoins with his many friends -- okay, a couple, I think. My recent voyage of self-discovery has taught me little more than what I already knew -- okay, make that a lot more. Your humble servant will therefore start vacuuming and dusting his cobweb-strung office, putting books back on their shelves, and replacing a now defunct calendar with a more current edition. No flower-strewn parade is necessary, as I shall resume my former work here in the least obnoxious manner possible. I offer an appropriate metaphor, that of a clean slate, and wish that all my past and former transgressions, insults, and otherwise rude behaviors will make way for a renewed onslaught of new transgressions, insults, and otherwise rude behaviors. |
| If God were a Time of Day, Then Mornings She would be. If the God to Whom I prithee, Should She grant me to be privy, I would seek to know Who be Thee, That I might lay me down to pray. An original poem by Timtu, who, to quote General Douglas MacArthur and say, "Hello," to all my Filipino friends here at WDC, "I shall return." |
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