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What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
If you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat because it is capsized.
How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. A left ear and a right ear plus the final front ear.
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I'm just mad because I didn't think of it first.
*Rolling*
What do dogs and phones have in common? Both have collar i.d.
If you ever get locked out of your home talk to the lock calmly. Communication is key.
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I have been locked out of my place at least once or twice before and left my door unlocked once but it was because my kids would get into an argument and then that would happen. Luckily, I don't do that anymore.
My doctor prescribed anti-gloating cream. I can't wait to rub it in!
I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure... Hmmm, make up my mind? Is it as easy as the habit of making up my bed? Do I pull up the quilt, fluff the pillows, smooth out the wrinkles? Is it like make up, you know, cosmetics? Do I accentuate the lashes, rub in a cheek glow, apply a hint of colour to the lips? Now what? My mind is tidy and painted.
You should never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
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Also, they like to string you along. It's a real racket.
If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?
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I've often wondered that if Death has perchance a couch, does it have Reaper cushions?
What if he did so in a forest where no one was around? Would it make a sound?(sorry, philosophy joke)
Ms. TerrifyingTuber Author Icon - Sound is vibrations in air. As long as there's air, there's sound, regardless of whether there are ears around to hear it.

If the forest has no air, we have bigger problems than mystical koans.
Id like to give a shout out to all the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
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Sidewalks do a great service to all of us, yet people just walk all over them!
Sidewalks are for crabs.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
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They're both spokesmen.
AVOIDABLE: what a matador attempts to do...
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After a brief chuckle (thank you) I thought this also applies to family gatherings when the bull starts to flow.
A sister revered for her intelligence? Nun the Wiser
Where do library books like to sleep? Under their covers.
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I have to admit, that's pretty funny. *Laugh*
Cute.
What has more lives than a cat? A frog- he croaks everyday.
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