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Hook or Pass? Opening a chapter For your consideration: the start of a chapter, of a scene. POV: eleven year old apprentice swords-girl who decided to wander about in the cursed woods (unarmed) thanks to the advice of spirits her guardians don't want her talking to. Believing she completed her mission with her "imaginary friends" Sigrun is lost. I tiptoed beneath the looming trees along the lonely road, ducking beneath the thorny brambles. The helpless crunch of stray leaves beneath my feet echoed in that hollow space as we blew aimlessly about in the night. In the dim, rusted light of the false moon, the surviving brown and orange leaves clung precariously to their home. The stars above abandoned me behind dark, angry clouds, and the wheel tracks wandering from Wilt's Bridge had been all but swallowed up in the wild. Struggling to guess which way to go, I pulled at my thin white shirt. Vainly searching for armor–for shelter and warmth against the night–I clawed at the material. Tell me friends: Read on or Pass? |
Hey Joto-Kai   , your query has jumped into my brain like a gnarling earworm. if this is to be your opening how about a little more hook. "The forest waited for Elara, its ancient roots stirring with each new footstep. In its shadowed heart, where the air thrummed with moss and dark memory, a hidden path shimmered into being, summoned by her presence. Elara, bound to the woods by a tie deeper than blood, felt them claim her at last. She stepped forward, the trees bowing in quiet reverence, as she began a journey destined to weave her fate with the soul of the wild." What's ya think? |
Joey says, Spring has Sprung  - What do I think? What do I think... I personally think it's awesome. Inspiration is always good. |
| Joto-Kai - To borrow from an old interview with George Orwell back in 1929... "I like that you were inspired use what you will and deposit the rest in the nearest dust bin." |
 I'm so unbelievable... unbelievably...  [I want to say harsh things about my intelligence, and that's only going to further drive me into confusion. So, suffice to say, it's unbelievable that I haven't been awake to this.] I've been trying to write out my rewrites without loading into my mind the stuff of the scenes. Predictably, having ambushed my brain, it's been typing "No comment." So I think the next step is to develop an interview that will get me started each time. |
I've added a new entry to my book, "Thoughts of a Mad Man"  : "Emotional Control: Pulling out of a skid" |
| Eggcorns are misheard phrases that make good sense. My favorite is "spread like wildflowers." Supposed to be "spread like wildfire." But really, it's a different metaphor. It implies something both slower and more beneficial. If you pass around real smiles they spread. It isn't like wildfire, and it isn't insidious like something viral--it plants a seed that has to grow, and take root before it can spread. So, kindness spreads like wildflowers. We need this eggcorn to spread-- To Spread Like Wildflowers |
| I've added a new entry to my book, "Thoughts of a Mad Man" : "Emotional Control: Six Second Response" Raven  |
| So I've revised my little girl heroine's attitude. Turns out that if Sigrun has that much faith at the beginning--and it's not totally misguided--that signals the story is over close the book. It also turns out that if she really should have that much faith, and she doesn't, well that's a perfect way to start a story. In this case, part of her story is to find out that everyone who loves her gives her pushback because they know that being chosen by the angels is a bed of rosebushes--it smells sweet but it's bloody awful trying to get any rest. |
| I've added a new entry to my book, "Thoughts of a Mad Man" : "Emotional Control: a first trick to learn." |
| Entelechy: from Telos, purpose; to infuse with purpose. If Jay thinks that success begins with the bestseller list, and: Kay feels success beginning with the decision to open the doc, who will have more motivation? Entelechy is when thinking about a certain purpose becomes habit forming, causing you to subtly find more and more expressions of that purpose to the point where you may not even notice when you've achieved your goals because you enjoy the work. |
| A daily rush write in which you babble on the page is a liberating and powerful practice which works in terms of shaping. At first the plan is to keep up the cursor movement. Don't worry about coherence, just let the mind babble on the page. As you do it, enjoy the play at it and be very approving of whatever you get. Remember you can delete it after you record that you did it. But what happens after a while of doing this is that sometimes your mind latches onto an idea and starts writing coherent paragraphs out of thin air. And then perhaps after a while you stumble on a pattern that creates plot, or at least narrative like the MRU and you learn that it's really easy to keep at that in the fastest speed you can type. The key is to set your expectation for something that you can always achieve, and approve of this, while also being open for that next level. Each time you actually jump up to the next level, your mind will notice how you react. Eventually, if you keep your expectations gently low, you will begin to notice a subtle improvement. This comes from learning. The reason you can't write anything passable at this rate is the same reason a baby can't walk: they haven't done it before. If you lived in a society of babies your ambition to walk without a walker would be considered nonsense. But with experience you can convert that. Remember that there are people who tell off-the-cuff stories in person. They're relatable and interesting. So it can be done. |
| Sean Webb's equation of emotion allows us to either empathize (reverse engineer) emotion, or to construct it as needed. I won't bore you with the symbols, he's much better at that than I, not being a mathematician. The difference between POV's standard for this situation (expectation and/or preference) versus POV's perception of events equals/Generates POv's emotion Now each person can have several, conflicting standards and several confusing perceptions. That's what makes for more complex emotion. Jack can be glad that he got something off his chest, irritated that Jo provoked him to it, embarrassed that he did it so sloppily, ashamed that he was so easily provoked, and satisfied to think that Jo will be embarrassed when she thinks of it. One slip of the tongue. Now not all of these need to be delineated in every paragraph, but they increase your appreciation and constitute that 90% below the surface that Hemingway talks about. I guess. |
| Take this first as a writer then as a wisdom idea--the warning you need. If you're writing a book about a character who finally realizes, in the end, that they is the villain, what would be the last line. Here is mine, for what it is worth: If I had given myself the permission to be wrong, to loosen up and enjoy the game... This didn't have to be, if I had not taken things so seriously. |
| Suppose you had a magic genie and he could let you go back to where you were ten and relive your life but afterward, you'd be right where you were--except with any new skills you'd picked up. So you now have thirty years to build up skills and knowledge. But mostly skills because there's no guarantee it's not a totally different world. No getting phone numbers or launch codes or anything like that. Here is my list of things I'd learn: Speed Reading Daily Writing and Improv Storytelling Executive Function Games (e.g. Chess, Checkers, Hnefetafl.) Hypnotic Language Voice Acting Caricature I'm pretty sure Chess would be very useful in plotting but even if it only helped me to develop gambits that would get my pawn in the writer's chair, well that would help. Speed Reading could allow me to absorb more of my comp titles. Voice Acting would sensitize me to the difference of how people talk and Caricature would allow me to better describe them, since it's about a form of description. And of course I'm sure that my illustrators would like seeing a sketch of what I want so that they can focus their creativity from there. Hypnotic Language is just saying stuff in such a way that people do what you intend. If you're reading a story and the writer says stuff that makes you want to punch the man in the throat, then when the hero tries it you're right there with him. The point being that there are a lot of ways to improve your writing other than writing, reading and 'living life.' Those are basic, sure, but don't stop there. |
| I say, getter done! No matter how long it takes. We seem to face many barriers in life. So be it. It may take longer than we anticipate. But please keep going. Looking back on my life, there were times when I was ready to give up on the desires of my heart. And yet, I just kept going. Then, I learned that many obstacles were to my creation. By my decisions, or lack thereof, within my mind. Then, as I looked even more profound, I saw that the obstacles were intermediate steps I had not previously anticipated in my goals list. In other words, we don't know what we don't know. My list was incomplete because I had written too broad of steps. I needed to take smaller steps to get there. So, follow your goals, keeping in mind that the list is an outline of where you want to go. Ensure you ENJOY the ups and downs, lefts and rights, hills, and valleys, too, for it will not be a straight line. Just a tip from your Uncle Hollis! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and happy New Year! |
| Joto-Kai - Yes, you are right about scanning the writing. Whether the entire page or paragraphs. That works, too. I would use that technique when I needed to find particular information in a technical book—scanning quickly through the pages until I saw the area of interest. |
| Hypnotic Language? Interesting concept. I recall as a teenager, I would sit behind someone, and as I gazed at the back of their head, I would focus my thoughts on something like, "Turn around" or "Scratch your head." It seemed to work sometimes, but it was probably just coincidental. It is funny how things work out because as I grew older, and even today, my thoughts are to let people be who they want to be. I don't try to change anyone. Informing folks of truths that I have found. But not necessarily trying to change them. |
Stead of sleeping I wrote this.
About the woman who came when I called into the night for someone who could get through to me. Not for a happy ever after, just that. That's all she was there for, I guess. 18+ Love to hear what you have to say. |
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