\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/jardane
Please follow an 18+ rating.*
Invalid Photo #1051327

Happy Four Years at WdC, Ben!!!
Looking for quality reviews for the first two chapters of my book. The first chapter a little bit long at 27K and the second chapter is 16k. I am offering 5000 if you review both, but only 2000 if you review the first or second chapter by it's self. I need good feedback!

"Unbound Words: Chapter 1 - Kenton the NeOpen in new Window.
"Unbound Words: Chapter 2 - Torin TarsisOpen in new Window.

Message me for more info
  •   1 comment
I've been planning on review chapter 2 also, but haven't yet. This week!
I quit, I am sick of spending hours writing, then spend double that editing to have someone tell me everything I am doing wrong and how I suck. I then spend countless hours editing and rewriting to be told yet again how much I suck and have all my mistakes shoved in my face.

I'm done, I have tried to be a writer I have tried to tell a story and I am sick of still being wrong. I give up I can't write I will never write because I am just too horrible.
It just hurts when someone tares your book to shreds and points out every little mistake and there is more red than black. I just can't do it anymore because every time I feel like I finally am a better writer and I finally got all the mistakes behind me and then someone comes along and shows I still have ten million mistakes and they tell me that I am miles off the mark.

I want to cry and i want to never write again!
Cinn  Author Icon
Ugh! I found the review that probably sparked this. It wasn't helpful. And to be quite honest, I totally disagree with them. Packing the first chapter with setting, every creature, plot, and societal constructs... that is the definition of info-dumping. Tons of fantasy writers do it. It's one of the reasons I don't read fantasy. You don't have to do that cookie-cutter format. I prefer opening with action with just hints of setting and such. What do I care about the setting and creatures if nothing is happening?

See what I mean, love? Different people have different opinions. They aren't right or wrong. Grammar... that is right or wrong and can be learned. The creative part is NOT wrong. Not possible.

The review was not helpful. It was picking apart rather than providing practical advice. I write pretty "harsh" reviews myself, but they're not just "This is all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong! Bad syntax!" That's not helping anyone.

Anyway... don't let one mediocre review turn you off writing. Take it for what it is. The reviewer might just be having a bad day and lashing out. Or maybe they really hated your chapter... so what? One person hates something you wrote. Far from the end of the world. Your average ratings scream promise. Keep at it.
Listen to her. Cinn Author IconMail Icon is a great reviewer and she is honest without nit picking. We all get a review that we don't agree with but it shouldn't stop you from doing what you love. If the story is there, write. You can only get better. Don't be discouraged.
I need some real help! I am getting confused on when to use past or present tense. I think my book needs to be past tense, but then does that mean I can never use present tense?

If someone can help teach me this and help me fix my book i can reward you with gift points and friendship :)
Not exactly. Past and present tense can be used in the same story, given it's used properly. "She smiles at the children as they walked by with their new puppy."

In short, the two tenses can be used together as long as it's in correct context. If you feel uncomfortable mixing tenses, nobody will stop you from using only one tense. Do what you feel comfortable doing. Have fun!
I am looking for someone to copy edit "Unbound Words: Chapter 1 - Kenton the NeOpen in new Window. for me. It is 4592 words, i know thats a lot for some people to edit. I am not super great at grammar and punctuation. I hope that when i see all my errors pointed out i can learn from them.

I am offering 12,500 GP to the person who can copy edit my chapter. This is first come first serve, please message me directly if you are interested.

I can email you the word doc if that makes it easier for you to edit.
I wish I could but I don't know how to copy edit.
Hi Ben,

I have just received from you a request to review chapter 2 of Unbound Words.

In order to understand the plot, I went to read chapter 1.

I've read a bit of it and the first thing which struck me as a reader was the bad grammar. In it, the tenses are mixed up - past tense which was used for the narrator was interrupted by passages in the present tense.

It was hard to concentrate on the story when I encountered those mistakes. Also, I had a feeling that you are what I call "A young" writer, judging by word choices and the way sentences were constructed. If I was wrong - my apologies.

I would like to edit your first chapter first. Please cancel your request for chapter 2 and enter a new request for chapter 1.

As for your mixed feelings about reviews on this site - A good reviewer will never tell you to change your storyline or your characters, unless they don't make sense. As for grammar - just stick to one rule - don't ever post a story which YOU haven't checked its grammar. Use Word for it and utilize all the parameters. This will help your readers make objective comments and understand better the plot.

Waiting to hear from you,

Hanna

PS Are you a member with CSFS? And how did you choose me for your review? Just curious...
Edited
Sometimes I wonder if we are too critical of people's work. We review someones story and tell them what would make it better, but are we just saying what would make it better for us?

I feel like sometimes by having your story on here for review it almost invites people to think it's wrong and needs to change.

What if someone posted a chapter from a best selling book and someone who never read the book reviewed it and game tons of suggestions for how it can be better.

I am just wondering how far do we go in our reviews, do we point out the grammar and spelling or do we tell someone every little thing that we would change?

If I made every change I was told to in the reviews I get would I still be the one writing the book or would it no longer be me?

These are the things I think about when someone makes a long list of "mistakes" they see in my chapters. I don't know how much is real errors I need to fix and what is someone trying to impose their own style and preferences on my book.

I agree if many people point out the same thing I will change it, but honestly I have some people say "change this" and others say "I love this part" so I tend to go with my gut on most things.
Another thing you might consider is taking a few of those that seem like the most valuable feedback - the closest to your target audience and true fans - and cultivate a relationship with them. That way you get better feedback and you improve while you continue your work.
One thing I have learned to run all reviews that I think have pertinent information through someone I trust. That would be my family. There are two in my family who I can count on having a good grasp on what it happening. They have agreed with somethings, and others they have not. I never change anything until I think about it for a couple of days first. Some advise has been good, others not so good. In the end, it depends on what you want to put out.

Taunia Lynn
I need someone to copy edit the rewrite of my first chapter. How much should i pay (in GP) to get my chapter copy edited? It's not exactly short roughly 3500 to 4500 words (still rewriting)
  •   1 comment
I think that depends on the level of the copy edits. If you're only looking for misspelled words, it might be one thing. But if you're asking for things like pronouns and antecedents and all the tricky stuff that a great editor will do- that will be more.
I am trying to find more ways to get reviews because i seem to be doing a lot of them and getting very few, any tips?
You could ask for someone to review your story on the revie request forum WDC set up. That's what I did. Or just email your friends to review you, like me, and it could get the ball rolling.
-Thornton
try auto-rewarding some! helps a lil bit
Image Protector
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC and to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.!*Star*
Please review the first chapter of my book "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
I need help fleshing out one of my characters. He is rather clever but a bit of a fish out of water because he is entering a situation where he has little information.

His name is Kenton Gladstone and he was chosen to be a master of one of the six branches of magic. He is from an island province so a little bit sheltered from the customs of the rest of the country. He is clever, ambitious and has a sharp tongue. His school/branch of magic is rather new so he has to prove himself as well as his school. Despite his abilities and personality he is not a well known person and his appointment was a surprise to him.

He is a rather nice person and his plans are never harmful or malicious. He cares mostly for his branch of magic and building his school.

Here are the questions i am asking my self.

1. If you are clever does that overcome a lack of knowledge about local customs aka (he logically figures it out)
2. can someone be confident and unsure of them self at the same time.
3. If someone was smart, clever and all that how nervous would they be about their new position and the people he will have to work with (the other five masters)
4. how would you expect such a person to react when they mess up and make a mistake because they don't know the local customs.
5. Based on the information given can you describe personally how you would expect such a person to act and interact with people. How would he deal with surprises and what would make him a likeable character.
1.It would help to have info, so I'd say that being clever and having some of the information on the customs would be good for Kenton.
2.Someone can be confident in their actions but not in himself and vice versa.
3.Everyone would be nervous. Just cause you're smart doesn't mean that you are 100% sure you can do something.
4.I bet Kenton would apologize a lot and overall be more sorry for what he did then he should be.
5.Don't make him cocky. He could be charitable and empathetic. I kinda expect him to be a little of a pushover (but will still stand his ground) and is a little timid.
Other than that, I have no clue.
-Thornton
Ben, I am going to answer those questions this way. As the author, you are the one that knows your character the best. If you know that this character is scared, or nervous, then he is. I think what may need to happen is that you need to show us through Kenton's actions that he is nervous, maybe when he reads the letter. Or maybe he is very confident, and when he walks up to the door, he realizes what is this, I am not so confident.

My suggestion is to take the time to sit back and experience your character in your head. Take time to daydream. See the scene and experience his feelings. See what he sees, hears, smells, tastes, and touches. How it feels for him to be nervous, uncertain. What would he do in those circumstances. Then put it on paper.

I know this is not a specific answer, but it is the best I can do.

Taunia Lynn
Cinn  Author Icon
Sorry to keep popping into your port and nosing around. I keep an eye on lots of newbies. *Wink*

You're keeping up a steady stream of reviews! Would you like to earn some gift points for them?

There are a bunch of groups on WDC that will pay you gift points for affiliating reviews with them. You can then use the gift points to reward people for reviewing your work, pay for membership upgrades, buy merit badges and awardicons for people... even buy real life merchandise like coffee cups and shirts.

Gift points are nice to have around. *Laugh* You might as well be earning some. It is as simple as choosing a group name from a menu at the bottom of a review.

Given your review style, I'd recommend "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window..

Anyway, I just thought I'd give you the information. I don't get anything if you join... I'm not even a member of that group. Just want to be helpful. *Laugh*
Trying to get reviews
  •   4 comments
Done and Done
Cinn  Author Icon
I just ran across another newbie with fantasy novel chapters, and both of you review. Maybe you can swap reviews? A little two-person review team! *Wink*

Taunia Lynn Author Icon is the writer.

No idea if you will like each other's work... but it's worth a try. *Smile*
I just sent a review request, we will see what they do!
Hi Ben

Welcome to WDC. I hope you will find the sight as welcome and supporting as I have.

Happy writing! ccup of
* Content and content ratings in this area are monitored solely by this member. Page owners have the ability to remove posts and/or block posters who do not follow the content rating or who post unwanted content. In addition, each member can block/ignore another member using the Block/Ignore Members" link on the Account Options screen.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/jardane